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re: sorority rushing

by:    

As a parent with a daughter who wants to participate in Fall Rush, I find myself in disbelief to what I read and what I see. 1st - I sit and wonder how a Sorority can possibly judge 1700 girls based on a 5-10 minute superficial conversation?

2nd - Is my daughter being judged only by her looks and what she is wearing at the time? How does a Sorority truly know if she would be a good fit or not based upon 2 or 3 conversations?

3rd - I sit and read all the reviews and can't belief how Sororities are being reviewed and tiers determines more by the attractiveness of the latest Pledge class vs. community service - things that truly matter. Since when does rushing become a Miss USA contest?

4th - I sit and read the reviews as one Sorority bashes another. I thought this was College and not High School?

My daughter is beautiful on the inside and out and I truly do not want this for her. I will support her only because it is what she wants.

For the record, I am not the only parent extremely disillusioned by the entire UF Sorority Rushing process.

Posted By: Concerned parent
Page 2 of 9
#11by:    
#11    

Legacies mean nothing, at least at UF. My sorority promotes legacies, yet UF cut my daughter early without even getting to know her.

By: Legacy mom

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by: Another Mom   

Legacy status means nothing. My sorority printed an article in our alumnae magazine which said that they would give greater consideration to a legacy but that was not the case for my daughter. We gave great consideration to legacies many years ago....definitely not so now. I don't think the girls even care about legacies. They will care someday when it is their daughter!!

By: Another Mom
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by: A Mom   

That is true but at other SEC schools in smaller states it is the only thing that matters so you are screwed coming out of the gate. At least UF looks at the individual.

By: A Mom
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#12by:    
#12    

Appearances play no bigger a part in recruitment than they do in say a job interview. And most sororities make it a point to stay clear of the overly promiscuous party girls. Every house wants new members who are going to represent them well (not moral question marks that could potential bring embarrassment to their house). If anything, UF sororities place considerably more emphasis on a PNM's ability to contribute to the success of their chapters than chapters elsewhere. This is why average gpa's and philanthropic fundraising is so commendable here. Yes, the so called "most desirable houses" have many pretty girls, but they are also extremely involved in various areas of the college (academically, athletically, philanthropically, and socially). These women are so much more than just pretty faces. UF simply needs more houses to accommodate the increasing number of rushees.

By: Remember this is UF
by: Another Mom   

I disagree...it is looks.

By: Another Mom
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by: Understandable   

Everyone is of course entitled to have their own opinion regarding the process, and right now (a time in which tensions are highest) this is a very understandable and popular reaction. However, please consider the potential disservice you are doing the girls who are offered membership come bid day. It is just as unfair to insinuate a girl only got into her sisterhood because she is pretty as it is to say the only reason a girl got cut is because she isn't. There is a reason sororities request "recs" (basically a girl's resume) previous to recruitment. Houses care a great deal about the quality of woman they are rushing and what they can contribute to their chapter in regards to leadership, sisterhood, and teamwork. Right now it's easy to criticize the process and write it off as being all based on looks, but UF's many upstanding sisters deserve a great deal more credit than that.

By: Understandable
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by: Very Concerned   

Understandable...I believe many of the girls being cut early on had a rec. I know my daughter had recs to nearly every house as she spent a great deal of time seeking those recommendations. She is pretty (but not model looks), has a great resume (as do many girls), converses easily with others and was cut by almost all of the houses after round 1. She was a legacy at 2 houses (mom and grandmother). Neither of the legacy houses gave her any additional consideration (I know that does not always happen). I know you are trying hard to defend the sisters but it really seems like looks plays a MAJOR part in this process. She was cut by everyone in the end.

By: Very Concerned
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#13by:    
#13    

In general most people consider sorority girls superficial
Is it really surprising this is the way they pick their members???

Lets be honest, do you all really think the main reason girls join sororities is to support their philanthropy....NOOO...its to be social, make friends, go greek parties.....Top houses go to parties with the top frats, and to stay at the top you need pretty girls...

just as simple as that

By: people
#14by:    
#14    

My daughter is in the rush process. I have been reading all the comments. I realize that a sorority is more than their philanthropy. My daughter wanted to join a sorority to meet people and to make her transition easier. She held several leadership roles in High School as well as she was very active in community service (hundreds of hours). I understand the job interview analogy but disagree in some sense to paralleling it to the sister interviews that occur. In the real world, appearance will only take you so far and that depends on the specific job. In certain career paths, being "pretty" could actually be a hindrance instead of an asset. College life and real life are very, very different. I'm wondering what would a PNM could possibly say in the 5-10 minute interview that would make a Sorority remember her or make her stand out given the nature of the questions asked? My daughter thought she had great interviews with certain Sororities, she was so happy, only to be cut from them regardless of the Round #. I was the one trying to console her assuring her that it wasn't her. My concern is that top tier Sororities are defined and rated as such because of what the sisters look like. When my daughter first expressed an interest in rushing I decided to research the UF Sororities. I found that the reviews had nothing to do with philanthropy, grades, etc... The reviews were all about the "looks" factor. It's sad and disheartening for all involved.

By: Not sure
by: Another Mom   

You are so right. The sororities can tell us it is all about involvement, etc. but there is no way that they can decide who will be best asset to chapter in 5-10 minutes. Looks and looks only.

By: Another Mom
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#15by:    
#15    

Grades, philanthropy, and involvement aren't enphasised as the specific signifiers that seperate houses because every house has exceptional grades, philanthropic contributions, and campus involvement. With such a level playing field in these areas it ends up being a house's presentation and personality that sets it a part.

By: Once again
#16by:    
#16    

Gator Girl, I looked for any and all information regarding the UF Sororities to include each Chapter's web site. I appreciate your response. I guess I'm still confused. Here is why. My daughter had been repeatedly solicited by various Sorority sisters that she had known in High School. She knew some of the girls better than the others. They had reached out to her upon her UF acceptance and continued to do so until last Monday night. My daughter spent some time in a couple of the houses with her friends during her Senior year. She loved the sisters/houses and thought she did really well with the interviews in round #1. She was beyond excited. She did not receive invites to round #2 for any of them. She didn't understand nor did I. Here's my question to you. Is there normally this many girls rushing? Would it be better if she dropped out and waited to rush in the Spring? I want her to be happy and I don't want her to settle. I also don't want her to be where she shouldn't. Your thoughts and/or advice?

By: Not sure
by: Gator girl    

Hi Not Sure! This is definitely a reasonable thing to be confused about! First, the number of girls going through recruitment does not affect the "severity of cuts" contrary to rumor. Each chapter is assigned a proportion of PNMs they may invite, so in a year with 1000 PNMs, a chapter may need to release 500 and invite 500, and in a year with 1700, they need to release 850 and invite 850. The final new member class size ("quota") goes up or down based on how many women stick it out til the end (essentially the number of women divided by 16). So don't let the number of women rushing influence your daughter's choice, because invitation numbers are a proportion, not a hard cap.

On the issue w Rd 1, the unfortunate reality is that if a sorority has 200 women and each knows 2-3 PNMs going through recruitment, plus about 100 legacies, that could be their entire allotment of Rd 1 invites there, so those factors are no guarantee. Many chapters have to release women they truly do like a lot!

I suggest she stick it out through prefs. At the end of the day, we each only get one bid and find one home, so if a house still is inviting her she should give them a chance to win her over! She should allow herself to briefly be sad about the cuts of course, but then focus on the houses that are offering her an opportunity for sisterhood.

By: Gator girl
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#17by:    
#17    

My daughter is a legacy but not from this chapter. The rules at national say the house is to invite legacies for at least on invite party. She has gone to third round there. Are most houses considerate to drop the legacy early on to allow them to focus on other houses if the fit is not right? What are the chances of a house dropping a legacy AFTER third round? Just wondering and yes, unfortunately I am a helicopter mom - sorry.

By: wondering too
#18by:    
#18    

Membership selection and legacy policies vary by sorority. For most though making it all of the way to round 3 is not a guarantee that she will be invited back for prefs. If she is invited back to prefs she has a high chance of matching there. Legacies typically will be at the top of the bid list.

By: Gator
#19by:    
#19    

I have a question regarding rushing and what is going to happen on Tuesday. My daughter keeps eliminating certain sororities and yet they keep appearing on her schedule. Why? She is frustrated and doesn't want to waste their time or hers. She had (7) invites today and has no interest in 4 of them. I would rather her get no invites on Tuesday then get invited back to a house she doesn't want. If she has no interest in specific sororities will they be able to invite her back for prefs? (not sure of the term) How does the process work for Tuesday?

By: Question
by: sorority girl   

Your daughter is getting her 4 "unwanted" houses because other houses did not really want her. So as they cut her the houses your daughter lists on the bottom come back up. On Tuesday she will find out if any houses want her back from pref. If so, she will go to those houses. She needs to be open minded about all of the 7 houses. On Tuesday if she has any houses to go back to she will put her top three in order. If she matches she will get a bid.

By: sorority girl
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by: Gator girl   

PNMs are never technically "cutting" any chapters. They are merely ranking them. If she is getting scheduled to parties with chapters that were at the bottom of her rankings it is because chapters at the top of her list released her.

And just to keep in mind, those chapters she may not want right now may be her only options at the end. The chapter I joined was one I did not love until closer to Round 3. After round one, they were one of my least favorites because they girl I met there didn't click with me. I put them at the bottom of my list. Nonetheless, I was released from a few of my "top choices" and so I wound up having to go back. I'm glad I did, as meeting more women there opened my eyes and by pref night I was in love. The chapters that keep inviting your daughter back are under no obligation to do so, and obviously see her as a potentially good fit. She should be honored by their invitation.

By: Gator girl
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by: Question   

Sorority girl, thank you for the info. I did not use the term "unwanted". My daughter made no connection at certain houses whether it was an awkward interview, the individual conducting the interview, etc... This process has been unpleasant and miserable at best. My only concern is my daughter's happiness and that is for her to determine. I am here to support her regardless.

By: Question
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#20by:    
#20    

As I read the comments trying to defend the UF rush process and the high caliber of young ladies chosen, I find your assertions hard to believe. I have been reading some of the response comments from current sorority girls posted on this site to simple questions by some of the girls rushing. While some are encouraging, I have been absolutely appalled at the cruelty and arrogance on display in many of their replies. If they are,overall, truly the best choices, carefully and thoughtfully made, then why are so many of them rude and disrespectful to the parents on this thread as well? Why are so many girls being brutalized in this process? Why is this process not fully explained to them? and why are there not enough chapters to meet the needs of even close to 1700 girls? This is a truly horrible way for 900+ girls to start out their college experience. I thought that sororities promoted themselves as being loving sisterhoods who try to live by higher standards and do good works. What I'm primarily seeing is a large number of superficial, self-important mean girls. Obviously, this is not all of the girls nor likely even all of the chapters, but what I'm seeing sickens me. I agree that the Panhellenic Council, on a national level, needs to step in and moniter this.

By: Alumni Mom
by: Good & Bad   

There are bad eggs in every situation. For every handful of thoughtful and sympathetic sorority replies there is likely to be one or two insensitive and immature ones as well. Just as for every truly concerned and curious parent there is likely to be one or two bitter and irate ones as well. Neither can accurately judge the other based on a few unflattering or closed minded contributors. The intensity surrounding recruitment is almost always greater than people expect, but let me assure you every college with a moderate to large greek life shares the same if not MUCH more intense process. Take a moment to consider schools such as UGA, Bama, UT, and Ole Miss. UF's recruitment pales in comparison to the grueling selection process that these neighboring schools are known for. I strongly suggest UF take the route of increasing its number of sororities rather than forcing change upon the ones that have contributed to its campus for over half a century.

By: Good & Bad
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by: Agreed   

Well stated Alumni Mom! I hope that the Panhellenic Council does take note of all the issues and concerns surrounding the UF rushing process. I have read this thread as well as the other questions posed by PNM's. I was also shocked by the rude responses of other sorority girls. I don't think the girl asking about the associated fee's should have been berated for simply inquiring. Girls-please note that I am not stereotyping or assuming these comments apply to all of the sororities. I know there are exceptions. However, it would be nice to see someone being honest regarding the rushing process instead of receiving the politically correct verbiage. I am trying to provide support and comfort to my daughter as well as to her friends. Each one of them brings amazing attributes to the table and would only enhance the well being of any sorority. They are all pretty but no, not models. Please don't insult my intelligence and tell me that physical appearance or perhaps a family monetary donation hasn't distorted the scales of impartial truth verses biased façade. What was supposed to be the best week of their new life has become a nightmare. Now I sit and try to pick up the pieces from across the country. Now I try to reassure my daughter that she is amazing and it's your loss and not hers. Now I try to assure her that she's still that beautiful and amazing girl who deserves nothing less than the best. It's quite the feat given the degrading rushing process she experienced this week.

By: Agreed
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