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new member with concerns??

by: worried

So I went through rush and final rounded at 3 houses, one of which I didn't like at all and 2 of which I liked. In the end I preffed one house that is considered one of the top houses and I don't know if I like it? I'm a pretty laid-back person and I honestly feel like they only gave me a bid because of my looks. I haven't been getting along with anyone in my pledge class except for a handful and one of the girls I really like just dropped. I'm really worried because initiation is coming up and I don't know if I made the right decision. The house I'm in kind of has a nasty reputation for only caring about looks and not having sisterhood and I really thought they were just rumors but now I'm really scared that I'm committing to a place that might actually be that vapid. What do I do :(

Posted By: worried
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Page 1 of 1
#1  by: advice   
#1    

Think about what you want out of greek life. Are you looking for life long friendships and sisterhood? Or do you just want a social schedule and stuff to do on the weekends? If you genuinely think that the girls are superficial and don't see yourself being close with any of them then don't stay just because you feel like you should. On the other hand if you're fine with not being super involved and tight knit then maybe stay. It all depends on what you want out of your house but definitely do not let the house's reputation sway you either way. Just base it off of your own judgments!

By: advice
by: worriedFeb 25, 2016 1:26:39 PM

thank you!! these are very good points, I just feel really conflicted about the whole "top house" thing, everyone I know acts like I should be so grateful to get a bid and like actually liking your sisters is irrelevant and I feel so much pressure it stresses me out

By: worried
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#2  by: we all know   
#2    

alpha phi...

By: we all know
#3  by: Same tho   
#3    

I feel the exact same way!! Really freaked out but I feel like it's too late to change anything. I wonder if we're in the same pc lol

By: Same tho
by: worriedFeb 25, 2016 1:24:46 PM

Idk sometimes I feel like the only reason people really join houses is for their names and social stuff but I have older friends in other houses who seem like they genuinely love their sisters and it makes me feel like I'm not in the right place? If we're in the same pc, how do you feel about your lin?? We had reveal and I barely know anyone in my lin. They're really nice so I feel bad saying mean things but I feel like I only have really bleh connections with everyone I've met and I'm scared

By: worried
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#4  by: Please   
#4    

Follow your gut. If your gut told you this was the right house, you may just need to give it more time. But if you know you only joined this house for the "tier" and the thought of feeling good about being asked to join a "top" house, then reconsider. You will not only be miserable living in next year (have heard nightmares about living in alpha phi and kappa...), but you'll be missing out on forming real, lasting relationships with women you should be socializing with. Good luck-def not an easy spot to be in.

By: Please
#5  by: Wait it out   
#5    

I think when you join a house too often girls think this means you have instant friends. It still usually takes a bit to connect to everyone and find where you fit. A lot of people don't like their house at first but then they make amazing friendships and end up loving it. I think you would really regret not being a part of Greek life just because you dropped before you fully gave it a chance.

By: Wait it out
#6  by: hey   
#6    

chill out and be flexible; if out of all those girls you can't find a group to click with, then maybe it's YOU rushing to judgement. you won't just LOVE everyone and there are more girls coming next year, so chill out. also, be proud to belong to a super strong nat'l organization. geesh. it's like a marriage is supposed to be: it's not all perfect for it to work. you will likely grow into it so be happy you got a top house.

By: hey

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