Regrets on bid day
by: NSGPlease help. I think I might have made the wrong choice. So, I went for what I thought was a top house & was so happy to open my bid card. Then I got to bid day. At first it was ok, but then I realized that so many girls already like knew everyone and I was just like by myself. I felt like my active was more excited about other new girls than me because I didn’t go to her high school and lots of them did. They even went off & took a ton of pictures together and I was left standing there it was so awkward. Seriously even their moms seemed like they all knew each other. My mom couldn’t come because we aren’t from TX and I guess she wouldn’t have known anyone anyways. I feel like there are definite cliques in this house already & I thought I had left all that behind in high school. I just want to know if every sorority is like this. I tried to talk to people at dinner and just feel like they really aren’t excited I’m there or anything. It was pretty terrible going home feeling left out after being so excited about this house. What should I do? I am hoping it will get better but I’m not so sure it will.
Comment#2 by: Been there
Try to remember that everyone else is experiencing something brand new too and people tend to stay with what they know when going through changes. It sucks you felt that way and I want you to know it’s valid. The actives should have included you more. But it’s going to take time to bond with your class and girls are figuring it out with their safety net at their side. I know it’s hard but keep putting yourself out there and go to everything you can to try and meet people. If you’re feeling this way talk to the older girls that you should have assigned to you each week until you get a big. They should help you navigate. Also, look at your bid list and seek out other girls from out of state - they probably feel just like you do!
#5 by: truth
Give it time and really work at reaching out to the girls in your pledge class. It will take some time but things will get more comfortable in the weeks ahead and don't be afraid to openly mention it as surely others are in the same boat and excluding you is unintentional. Others are in the same boat so they retreat to what is familiar.
#6 by: NSG
Update it’s not really better and I’m still not sure what to do. Everyone feels super clique-ish. Literally don’t know how I was chosen for this house because literally everyone already seems to know each other from somewhere whether it’s camp or high school or what ever. If I drop out, I can go thru again next year, right? Will it be held against me that I took a bid from the wrong house? I’m pretty disappointed and let down by the whole experience so I’m not sure I even want to go through this again, but at least maybe I can find friends in other houses. Already met some really nice girls in other sororities that seem way more open and genuine. So I guess now I know it does not have to be like this.
by: KrappaSep 10, 2021 10:55:34 PM
by: MeSep 19, 2021 3:42:28 PM
Give it more time. My house pledges a ton of girls from a few high schools. The girls who already know each other stick together during the first semester because they know each other…it’s comfortable.
By the end of the first year the social groups shake up quite a bit as people find their new friends in the chapter.
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#7 by: Same feelings
I experienced the EXACT same feelings when I started. I am not from Texas either and I felt like everyone already knew each other Bc of high school, camp, etc. I haven’t met anyone who has experienced the same feelings as I have until I read this. Plz reach out to me at LOG4052@gmail.com.
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by: NoSep 10, 2021 10:53:56 PM
Same thing happened to me. Might even be the same chapter. Don’t drop. Give it time. There are awesome girls in every house and if you’re unable to find girls at your house to be friends with it’s unlikely you’ll find all that many friends at another house. As freshman year goes on you’ll make more friends I’m certain. My advice: hangout with the boys they hangout with. Go to their frats parties and try to get invites to their date parties. Invite those boys to your date party. This is a SUPER easy way to get to know these girls better (although it does seem kinda backwards.) Also LIVE IN THE HOUSE sophomore year. In opposition to someone else’s advice above, I wouldn’t make a big deal about how you’ve been left out thus far to these girls. Critiquing them isn’t going to be a good way to make them your friends. These girls are falling into cliques because it’s comfortable for them. You can’t totally blame them for that. Host a pregame for an event. Be bubbly and nice and try to talk to them.
Dropping and rushing as a sophomore isn’t the worst thing but the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Being a sophomore in a new pc brings an incredible amount of difficulty as well. Sophomores are typically left out of a lot of things and have a hard time finding their place.
Again, hang out with the boys they hangout with and I promise you’ll start having lots of opportunities to get to know them better.
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