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unhappy

by: Troubled

I didn’t get the bid I wanted and am super sad. Not sure what to do.

Posted By: Troubled
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#1  by: PNM   
#1    

Hopefully you still got a bid from a house?

By: PNM
by: TruthJan 15, 2019 10:30:34 PM

Stuck it out if you really want to be part of Greek life. You will probably end up loving this new house and or some/most of the girls in it.

Harsh but true that house that dropped you did not see you there and won't next year either. Dropping for something 'better' generally never works out. You went through the process and ended up with a chapter that wsnted you and that you continued to go to. Enjoy it!

By: Truth
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#2  by: Gg   
#2    

Me neither it gets better. Sign up for informal. Research some nice apartments or houses to stay at with friends. And befriend greeklifers, they’ll help you get onto a frat list. Hope everything works out!

By: Gg
by: GgJan 15, 2019 10:05:57 PM

Or drop and rush next year

By: Gg
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by: No, she cannotJan 16, 2019 1:29:21 AM

She cannot sign up for informal. She is tied to the house that extended her a bid for a full year until the next formal recruitment.

Besides, the only house that will do informal is ASA. There is a possibility that DPhiE and TPA might also do it.

These are all lower-tier, "less desired" chapters. Chapters that do informal recruitment tend to be in that category.

OP was cut from all chapters but the one that extended her a bid. It is pretty unlikely that she would have better luck in informal recruitment or next year during formal recruitment. The real choice right now is whether she is going to take the bid that has been offered to her and make the best of it, or whether she is not going to be greek at all.

And if this is the situation you are in as well, same thing applies to you.

By: No, she cannot
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by: GuestJan 16, 2019 12:43:35 PM

Only a "possibility" DPE will do informal? They had 13 new members on formal bid day. They're on life support at this point. They will be grabbing people off the street and begging them to join.

By: Guest
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#3  by: Well   
#3    

Stick it out for a week or two, try to get to know the women in your chapter. They saw something in you, otherwise you wouldn't be there. If you give it your all, participate in events, try to get to know people, and still don't like it, you can drop before initiation. You never know what you might miss out on if you don't give it a chance though. A lot of people share the experience of being unhappy on bid night but loving their chapter in the end.

By: Well
#4  by: lol   
#4    

Cry about it and drop out of college

By: lol
by: SnarkyJan 15, 2019 10:14:48 PM

Why do you have to be mean about it?

By: Snarky
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by: tooOldForThisJan 15, 2019 10:17:35 PM

Honestly, anyone who is unhappy about receiving any bids needs to reevaluate their life.

By: tooOldForThis
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#5  by: Dont be that girl   
#5    

Don’t be that girl sulking and not putting in an effort in the beginning. If you took the bid give it your all, meet girls, go to events, talk to everyone. I’ve seen girls not think they “fit” and flash forward to now they love their chapter and have made so many great friends because they stuck it out and gave it their all. Making meaningful friendships takes time. So don’t count your second choice chapter out yet. Give it your best effort and you may find out it actually is were you belong!

By: Dont be that girl
by: LolaJan 15, 2019 10:35:25 PM

DONT BE THAT GIRL. I was literally that girl. Which is why I get so heated when I see PNMs on here acting/sounding the way I did.
Y’all don’t know what you’re missing. Don’t be that girl.

By: Lola
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by: YesJan 16, 2019 1:22:47 AM

^^^^ My Big was literally that girl and she says that this is her one regret out of her entire college experience. Don't be that girl.

By: Yes
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#6  by: stay strong   
#6    

i totally feel your pain! it's important at this time to fully appreciate the fact that you even have a bid to be upset about. a lot of ladies didn't make it to bid night, and you did!! so obviously you did a lot of things right, because it's difficult to get a bid! it's also important to listen to your gut and if you truly feel like it's not right after a few days of sleeping on it, then drop our and try again next year. you'll be even more experienced and sure of yourself, with friends in the houses. you'll be sure to kill it and get your favorite house for sure! stay strong!

By: stay strong
by: bumpJan 15, 2019 10:35:52 PM

yes ^^^ don't feel pressure to do informal, because the only houses that will do that are ASA and TPA and maybe DPhiE. These are "lower tiers" and i know a lot of people care about this. if you don't, by all means, go for it. but if you had your heart set on one of the more popular sororities, bank on trying next year!

By: bump
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by: Idk bout datJan 16, 2019 12:04:03 AM

But upper mid and top tier chapters rarely take sophomores.

By: Idk bout dat
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by: @bumpJan 16, 2019 1:32:25 AM

OP is not eligible for informal anyway due to signing the MRABA.

By: @bump
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#7  by: BE HAPPY!   
#7    

If you were extended a bid, I have news... you are NOT eligible to rush again until next formal rush. You cannot drop and do informal after signing that card and accepting the bid (MRABA). You are committed to the sorority for one year, whether or not you want to.

If you drop the chapter that has offered you sisterhood, then you will spend a solid year sitting around, watching your friends having fun & making friendships which you wait. And just ask around how successful rushing after dropping a bid will be.

How about giving these girls a chance, just like you wanted to be given a chance? Yo don't have much to lose. You might just find that you make friends, if you try and have a good attitude.

By: BE HAPPY!
#8  by: same   
#8    

I didn’t either when I went through rush. I was super sad for a month and cried on bid night. But in all honesty I’m happier than I’ve ever been and have met my best friends through my house. Stick it out.

By: same
#9  by: Pseudo   
#9    

Great advice about getting off social media for a week or so. Go to the house. Talk to the girls face to face. Get to know them. Laugh with them and have some fun. You’d never have made them #2 if you thought they were a bunch of monsters. They’re obviously not. The truth is that you don’t know enough about your new house to make an informed, intelligent decision yet. To do that, you need to spend quality time with them. Not just texting. Actual, real, human face to face time.

By: Pseudo
#10  by: Junior   
#10    

A have friends who didn’t pref the house we’re in and were heartbroken on bid night when they didn’t get their top choice. They seriously considered dropping but ended up sticking it out and absolutely love it now. I know it’s hard not getting a bid from the house you really wanted, but it’s important to give the house that saw something in you a fair shot. Stay with it. Get to know the girls. Make friends. You’re disappointed and that’s fair but do not let your emotions get the best of you. Put on a good attitude and open your mind about the house that gave you a bid because it can truly surprise you how much you can end up loving it. If you still feel the same in a couple months, you can drop before initiation. Your experience in Greek life is what you make of it!

By: Junior

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