thinking about dropping out

👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼: THIS should be a must-read for EVERYBODY going through recruitment.....
Beautifully worded and absolutely true. @IU gal, you are very wise!

You make it sound like every sorority is full of Mother Theresas and MENSA members and that's simply not true. The PNM you talk about with the charity organization is the exception not the rule and honestly, I'm sure she was cut from several chapters despite that. Greek Life is not only for the "Exceptional" - but it does give us all the potential to be "exceptional." I know several women who only got in because of who they knew, rather than what they knew. I know of chapters who cut solely based on looks, not resume. It's not about her saying that she's "better" - it's about the message that Greek life is sending to her that she is not worthy or good enough. I agree that our Greek Life is really petty and I'm a part of it.

This message is conveyed very well.
Thank you!

It doesn't matter after colllege unless you live near each other. Sorry but it's usually the sad truth.

That's not exactly true. Some sororities are simply larger and stronger nationally, so you'll have lots of connections all over the country and even the world when you graduate. For instance, Chi Omega has 330,000 members and DPhiE has 67,000.

I'm Greek and I regret it. Don't get me wrong, I have met 2 of my best friends, but overall I'm disappointed with the experience. Pressure to never leave the house not looking "hot", having to always follow 2 of 3 - hair, makeup and/or letters even when I feel like sweats and a ponytail, can't be myself, pressure to drink and kiss up to certain frats even though they treat us poorly, expensive and too often fake. The one thing I learned is you can find your niche anywhere - mine is more my business frat than my sorority, but it's too complicated to drop - I mean you don't want to make enemies, so it's easier just to stick it out. I don't have to live in the house next year, thank God, so I think it will be easier to disconnect. If you want to join a sorority than by all means do it - but don't feel you have to to have a good social life. There's plenty to do at IU and so many outlets to meet people.

So quit. Seriously. If you're so damned miserable quit so someone else who will appreciate it can have your spot. You're probably one of those girls who drags everyone down and no one needs that. It's not complicated. You just submit a resignation then you're done.

Also, what do you think the real world after college will be like? You'll have to look professional. You'll have to learn to deal with people you don't like or who aren't so nice to you. You'll be put in situations you'd rather not be in. Life isn't all rainbows.

^ don't be a jerk, in the real world at least you get paid to put up with crap, a sorority should be fun if YOU PAY THEM $10,000+ a year

Everything we do in our lives prepares us for the future. If you can't handle rules, then it's not going to matter if you're getting paid or not. Girl needs to quit so her spot's open to someone who will really appreciate it and not be a whiny beatch.

@Greek, I think that Greek has a valid point.

This is exactly the problem with choosing a house based on "reputation" and "ranking."

Clearly the popular sororities want to convey the best image, since image is such a big part of rush, so these houses will tell their girls to dress a certain way and make nice with certain guys, etc. I've seen it, and my friends have experienced it and complain to me about it.

That doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with Greek for not being into that kind of stuff. She sounds less worried about appearances than most of her sorority sisters, and THAT IS OKAY! There is nothing wrong with being more down-to-earth and not worrying about appearances (just like there is nothing wrong with wanting to present your best image and being concerned about appearances). It's ridiculous to try to imply that either of those people will be less prepared for the real world when that's simply not true.

Not everyone needs to be worried about appearances. But if you're someone who is more chill about that type of thing, then the most perfect-looking sorority (likely the one that is ranked highest) is not for you. Go with a more chill chapter that is more diverse and accepting (likely one of the lower ranked ones). Those are the general trends, but unfortunately most freshmen are not self-aware enough to realize this when they go through recruitment.

But, many sororities have alumnae chapters around the country, which you're able to join and participate in wherever you go. Maybe that's not your thing, but it sounds like @IUActive is excited about that. Now, I DON'T think that's going to do anything really useful like get you a job somewhere, lol, but if you're into that for your social scene, then that's great for you.

@But, I think that the number of alums who actually take part in their sorority after graduation is pretty low, so the total number of women pledged doesn't really matter. DPhiE has alum chapters across the US, just like every other sorority at Indiana.

Im so sorry girl:( there is always next year. You are allowed to be sad/disappointed etc don't let anyone make you feel bad for your feelings!

Sorry that you felt like you had to drop. Sad that you didn't give them a chance.

same were in this together

It's legitimate to feel sad and disappointed, and your feelings are valid.

However, you are making a mistake by dropping out while you still have sororities who are interested in you and would potentially like you to become their sister.

There is a high likelihood that by doing this YOU are CHOOSING not to go Greek.

i feel this so hard can we be friends

It's legitimate to feel sad and disappointed, and your feelings are valid.

However, you are making a mistake by dropping out while you still have sororities who are interested in you and would potentially like you to become their sister.

There is a high likelihood that by doing this YOU are CHOOSING not to go Greek.

Wouldn't it be better if all three of you gave the rest of the houses a chance and potentially became sorority sisters? You would be able to influence the development of whatever chapter you joined

-do they cut girls at this point. I'm just wondering what my chances are

Every sorority makes cuts. It's a privilege to get a bid to any chapter housed or Unhoused. Nobody just walks into rush and gets a bid even from the lesser desired chapters.
That being said if you're still being invited back they see something in you and want to still know more about you. Don't take that lightly! I say keep going.

No, unhoused chapters don't take anyone. They make cuts. There were girls who were completely dropped from recruitment and would kill to have houses to go back to.

The reason you were invited back was because they see something in you. Whether that is your academic achievements, your leadership experiences, your kind nature, etc... THEY NOTICED SOMETHING IN YOU THAT THEY LIKE AND THEY WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER. That's why you got invited back. Not everyone did.

You might actually be surprised at which girls get cut from what chapters. I promise you, unhoused chapters make cuts too.

Think about this way...unhoused chapters don't have the space or the womanpower to host every PNM for every round.

So yes they do make cuts.