Choosing a chapter

I went through recruitment as a freshman and stalked every chapter. I was obsessed with getting a top tier and living out what I thought would be my dream college life. I wanted fun new friends, I wanted to go to crazy parties, I wanted to be wanted by the cool guys, to make long-lasting memories and take the cutest pictures. I was friends with some girls on my floor and we all had our eyes set on the top sororities. We would have dropped for anything less. Even though I realized the middle tier and lower sororities were actually just as fun and nice during recruitment, I had a tunnel vision and only cared about my end goal. I made it to my top sorority by playing the part and trying to be someone I thought they would consider "good enough". Now looking back I don't know who that girl even was. The friends that made it to the top with me I slowly lost relationships with as they began finding their own way and getting pulled into the toxic environment that no one warns you about once you get a bid at your dream sisterhood. It’s such a lonely feeling. I have been judged, talked about and excluded by girls I considered friends. I have really tried to make real connections with these girls but I now see it is not possible to make real connections with fake people. I've spent so much time and money trying to keep up and all I can do is sit in my room and cry when I see girls in middle tiers who were able to just be happy and make real friends. I have no one to call or hang with to just talk. Why? Because after my sisters and I go out and take pics together they don't truly care about me, not like real friends should. They aren’t there for me when I’m sad, wouldn't take care of me if I got messy drunk, they would whisper. I joined a top for superficial reasons and got a superficial experience. Don’t join a top tier chapter just for the status, it’s not worth the loss of what could be the best years of your life with real friends. Joining a sorority can be amazing if you go with your heart. Forget the tiers and join a chapter with girls you feel comfortable with so you can make true friends.