new greek life rules

Hello! This is your friendly neighborhood OFSL here to spread some new rules we have for the Greek Community due to the recent uptick in suspensions this semester. The following rules go into effect immediately:

1. No drinking. Ever. This includes non-alcoholic beverages (i.e. water, soda, orange juice), as you can still drown on those.
2. All Greek Life members are subject to a strip search at any time - including during class. We need to keep our campuses adulterant free.
3. All fraternity members must submit a DNA sample to be held by OFSL, so we can find out exactly who was at Pub every night.
4. All on campus houses must install large windows around all sides of the house. We do not keep secrets at UCF.
5. An OFSL staffer must be added to every groupchat that has a Greek Life member in it, period.

These rules are here to keep you all safe from yourselves, because you're all children who just want to harm each other for $1000+ in dues. According to this op-ed I read from 1984.

Thank you!
- OFSL staff