brutally honest truth about each frat

SigChi: a guy on roids posing in front of lasers at a music festival with a bandana covering half of his face (to hide the fact that he can’t grow a beard and looks like a 12yo with biceps.) 8th year senior despite 12yo face.
PhiDelt: trying to figure out if they rush based on looks or based on ability to takeover all power in student government... deff going with the UCF takeover conspiracy. has more members than most SEC sororitys do. the hot ones keep them relevant.
ATO: honestly dangerous to probably even enter that house. on second thought, if you’re short on rent this month maybe trip and fall inside. They’ll deff have their alumni reach out and settle to avoid any consequences like usual.
KSig: They went from being pretty hot guys you friend zone to pretty average guys you may not even consider a “friend,” but you don’t want to give up making use of their house (free alcohol) so you do it anyways. Try’s to out-man ATO/Sig.
ThetaChi: The most notable thing about you is getting your house taken. Years ago. Like it’s been years. Can anyone even name 5 brothers? Does anyone actually know a real Theta Chi?
ZBT: I’m sorry y’all are never getting over that scandal. Like ever. Maybe that’s why all of the guys you recruit look like children......
DU: DoyoU you even go to UCF? The world may never know. They love trying to be top tier more than they love their girlfriends. But no one loves DU more than DU.
DeltaSig: Had some guys with weird hair. Maybe they still do. Not even sure because no one cares to talk about them. Literally can’t even think of something bad to say because who are they.
SAE: has a weird AXiD fetish (it’s mutual). Commonly mistakes Sigma Alpha Epsilon for Sigma Chi. Has some attractive guys until you talk to them for 5 secs and realize why they’re in SAE.
AEPi: Will never stop talking to anyone other than AEPhi so no one else really knows them. Leave them alone- they want to have a social with someone else for once!!!
FIJI: The water is better.
PiKapp: The phi delt of bottom tier. Mixed bag. I think everyone really just wishes they were PKA instead of PKPhi.
TKE: Lowkey they had some DADDDDDIES. Johnny Bravo himself was in this fraternity. But then they were also TKE so apparently all they do now is makeout with TriDelts. Sig is jealous their roids weren’t enough to impress.
SigNu: I actually think they aren’t a chapter anymore so idk why I’m even writing this. If they are still....then that’s the roast.
Beta: Rip. Guess you really were Beta males.
SigPi: Thank god you have 2 muscular people to make up for the other 50 obese rednecks. News flash: You aren’t coming back. No one even remembers you exist.
Gazoni: Probably the most famous of all- I mean they have a documentary about them on Netflix. It was cool to be a rebel 5 years ago but now being in Greek life at UCF alone makes you the enemy so you’re kind of irrelevant now.