bar ranks fall 18

TOP TIER
RJ Bentley's: the staple of college park. the bar that freshmen girls' mouths water over that first saturday at UMD. if you have a pulse and an ID that's not made of cardboard you're in bents at 5:30 on a friday. undisputed king of the bar scene, even if it is a slimy disgusting s###hole.

UPPER MID
Cornerstone: easily the best specials in college park, rails and drafts are two absolute necessities if you're really gonna even be allowed to call yourself an alcoholic. not as much room for shenanigans as bentleys, but adding cstone tuesdays honestly corners the market for non-weekends.

Looney's: if you've never experienced a loondawgs karaoke night you haven't truly lived. some of the consistently best food in the CP bar scene and the only drink comparable to a full crush bucket might be the fish bowls at turf happy hour, one and you're done. great place to catch a game and even if your fake says you're 13 years old the waitress is gonna serve you that gin and tonic. most underrated bar at UMD by far.

LOW MID
(RISING) The Rail: remember big play? the bar so lowkey fire that zeta psi named a house after it? yeah, now remember backyard sports grill? that bar that everybody thought replaced big play but was actually just the same bar renamed? it's round three baby, the rail is just the same exact bar but with a different name, apparently trying to confuse freshmen when their upperclassmen siblings tell them to go to rails on wednesdays. third time's the charm and somehow it's working: the rail is actually starting to pop off whenever cstone or bents get too packed. their DJ will literally stop what he's doing and sing you happy birthday with the voice of an angel if he hears you're turning 21, too, so watch out for the rail this semester.

BOTTOM
(FALLING) Turf: they were on the verge of going out of business last year so they got super lenient on fakes but now it's back to the same old same old of snapping IDs and being empty 75% of the time. turf tuesdays were fun when turf was the only bar popping on a tuesday but if you want to hear music so loud you can't even think and be shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of crazy sorority girls spending more time on their phones than talking to their friends you should just go to a postgame at complex. with cstone tuesdays having better deals than turf by a mile, it's only a matter of time before turf tuesdays lose their appeal.

(RISING) Milkboy: the hipster bar that tried so hard to pretend they were in DC they literally forgot that they exist 2 seconds from a college campus is finally getting the right idea. sororitys are starting to have date functions here now and they're beginning to be more lenient on fakes. big things could be coming for milkboy, in a prime location, mind you, if they just get their act together and decide to be a real bar that also has live music from time to time this semester.

argue below and thumbs down all you want but this is the truth.