which houses did you pref and which did you pick?
by: angry2I continue to think about some of the issues surrounding our fall recruitment and am now more puzzled than ever? It seems that many posts talk about not trusting the process and by association Panhel. As panhel doesn't choose to share much info how about people post what their pref houses were and which house they picked? Also if you think that you were dropped from a house for no reason post that too. It will be helpful to see this information to see if any patterns emerge. My suspicion is that the patterns will reveal themseles in no time flat!
#51by: reallygreat
I had a serious meltdown at pref night. I preffed kappa and pi phi and then I dropped. I was upset about my roommates rush situation (not my story to tell but it was bad) and my situation with classes where nothing was really looking too interesting. I have to do a shout out to the pi phi ladies as they were wonderful in their understanding of the situation. Kappa was well kappa, nothing else to say. I think you can tell alot about people when you see them go through something difficult. Not sure how things would have worked out for me had I not dropped but hopefully I can do this again next year when things aren't quite as stressful as they were for me this fall. I enjoyed meeting the ladies at other houses especially: aphi, adpi, theta, ddd, zeta, sk and xo. Apologies to sister yaaaa above who is loving her DG sisters but that house just didn't float my boat.
Comment#52by: chicken
I've been reading these posts and finally decided to chime in here and recruitment was incomprehensible to me. I had no knowledge and truly just winged it! I pref'd xo and pi phi and picked pi phi. Pi Phi was my top pik from day one and I honestly wasn't sure how the process would work for me but oddly it did. I loved a phi, sk, xo, theta and ddd. I truly met wonderful ladies at all the houses and I know for me I could have been happy at any of the 5-6 houses I just mentioned. I still don't get how the houses didn't seem to cut equally after the first event? I understand the math discussed in another thread but it all honestly seems quite strange to me to have such differences in house size drive a process and cause so many tears. The scene back at the dorm was consistently horrific on my floor as it was non stop tears from day 1 and the pain was real. Many hear seem to believe that these crying pnms brought this pain on themselves because they were closed minded about house choice. There was certainly some of this but not as much as some people seem to think. Not sure things should be this hard or painful. Just my 2 cents from someone who is very very happy!
#54by: Marge
I still can't get how this process works in anyone's favor to tell you the truth! I can honestly say I found 4 houses that would a day 1 fit for me and 4 more houses that would be a day 2 fit for me! Of the 4 houses I loved I was dropped by 3 :(. Gritted my teeth and played on and I prefd pi phi and dg and picked pi phi. I won't throw shade on any house as we are all great. I just picked a place where I have many interests in common. Could not be any happier.
#55by: Socalgal
To the people that say people on this site are whining I say these people are simply expressing honest feelings and they should be heard! Honestly it's the people that are complaining about the whining that are coming off as cold and unfeeling and have their heads in the sand about change. Change is the only constant ladies! We either embrace change or we have it imposed on us. Cal is a leader in so many areas so why not look to the future and be the change and not look to the future. I think the houses did themselves no favors by poorly explaining the process. I truly believe that if everyone understood the game then more houses might have had full classes. I pledged theta after preffing at xo and theta. Great girls both houses but I love where I am!
#57by: Hmmm
by: sorry
That was misplaced. Meant as a reply to the nasty girl who has commented at several places on this thread.
Glad you're enjoying axo!:)
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#58by: notgood
I pledged one of the houses that is getting a lot of shade on this site and I'm not feeling my house at all. Do you think it just takes more time to see what I think or what ideas are out there on how to proceed? I'm heartbroken over the whole thing but really not sure what to do. Any helpful ideas out there?
by: 54
Hey there,
If the issues you have with your house are just because of Greekrank threads, then I would urge you to stay in your house and try to make it better from the inside out. If you're having a hard time fitting in, talk to a sister you trust and ask about ways to feel more connected. You may not be able to be best friends with everyone in your house, but you'll probably be able to find at least a few people with similar interests and personalities that vibe with yours. If you give it a fair shot and still don't feel comfortable, you can drop before initiation. It sucks that you're going through this. <3
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by: notgood
Thanks 54, I appreciate the kind words. Its been a super rough time for me as I feel like an alien in a timewarp here. What really has me down though is the fact that people here actively talk about how its good there are no minorities in our house and yet others have said that because we are private organizations we can do what we want and thumb our noses at those that dare to criticize us. These kinds of comments make me super uncomfortable. I didn't spend most of my childhood in the US and so spent alot of time with these so call minority people that my 'sisters' are now saying we don't need in our house. The few times I have tried to casually bring up the topic I am given death stares or simply told I don't get it. I just think I'm in the wrong place. Its not that parties aren't fun or I don't like my class or that on the surface people aren't nice. I just think my experience has been a bit different so being faced with people that hold such views in a very strong way is not me. I think its all good though as I have a bit of time and so can drop. Had no idea people like this would be here at Cal. There is a house for me, just probably not here but we will see how things go. Its a huge disappointment as I was so excited to end up where I did.
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#59by: omm
Just wanted to post that I ended up at xo after pref with a phi and xo. Seriously tough to pick as I met super people at all the houses. Still don't understand how virtually everyone I spoke to during recruitment got cut from 3-4 houses immediately. In a way it was good as it took the sting out of the rejection as its hard to take a process seriously when you get the hook after such short meaningless meetings. But it just seems screwed up to me that its not possible to meet all the houses 2x rather than 1x. I would think the houses would want a better look upfront as well. I also wanted to add that I was a kappa and dg legacy and neither house acknowledged the referral letters and I was dropped by both houses after the first night. I know different houses handle legacies differently but my mom was a house president in college, alumni chapter president for many years and knew many people at national office. My mom told me not to expect much of the houses here as legacy status doesn't really mean much as Cal, but I have to say to not even follow national protocol in terms of acknowledgments was something my mother and grandmother found unacceptable. My grandmother is 83 and loved her time in greek life and she laughed it off completely as she said 'what do you expect of this generation that grew up with no rules". I know I wouldn't have personally liked either house for myself, but I am upset that they felt compelled to be rude to fellow sisters of old. Not cool at all!
by: Anne
I'm sorry that happened to you. My house is always SO excited when we have a legacy come through, so it's crazy to me that some chapters really don't care.
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by: Strange
I'm very sorry to hear that your referrals and legacy status got muddled up somehow. At least at kappa there is a policy where it does matter and you would by rule/process not get dropped on the first night and it generally gives you an advantage - if this is real then you should contact someone about it. Not sure if you're just trying to jump on the dg/kappa bashing train, because it sounds a little strange and coincidental...
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by: notgood
Thanks for thoughts about referrals and follow up. Both my mother and grandmother have alerted their respective national organizations and I'm satisfied with that approach. I have no axe to grind at all other than to let others know not to necessarily expect responses to legacy forms and recommendations. It is unfortunate that my experience was with the two houses mentioned but it was truly just the way things worked out. I had an aunt that was a xo but I don't think that counts as a legacy and another aunt that was a pi phi and I don't think that counts as a legacy either. These two aunts could have written a recommendation but I was told the process was casual so I didn't ask either to do anything. No agenda here at all so please don't read into this posting please. Just didn't want others down the line to be hurt by non acknowledgement. I think my message is to just expect to be treated the same as if you weren't a legacy and then you wouldn't be hurt. Hope that clarifies things! Thanks
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by: dekel
Hi hmmm, just wanted to let you know I loved meeting the ladies at your house! I also have to say that at least on my floor we all talked after every event and this site seems to have gotten the commentary down correctly. Consistent issues about how people felt going to dg and kappa. A number of people on my floor got cut by pi phi but what is so interesting is that they didn't have the negative vibes that they got at the two houses mentioned above. I think it says alot about a house where people that got cut leave with positive feelings. I heard the same good things about SK, ADPi, Tri D, Theta and Zeta - people liked the way they were made to feel and so even if they got cut it was ok in their mind. Its strange that people here seem to be focusing on dismissing the dg and kappa bashing rather than looking at what the comments actually are expressing about experiences with these houses. Its easy to dismiss the comments as jealousy and envy but if you leave a house and didn't feel welcomed or have had a conversation where the other party seemed disinterested, I don't think you are being bashed because people envy you or are jealous. The comments seemed pretty heartfelt and honest on my floor - there was no envy, just disinterest with a bit of disgust. That's the truth based on what I heard.
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by: numbers reminder
Recruitment math difference isn't driven by how many can sleep in the house, its driven by how many PNMs rank a sorority "I WANT TO RETURN MORE TO THIS HOUSE" after each party.
For a MADE-UP example to show math only, NOT TRUE FIGURES: after First Round kkg might get 800 of 1000 women ranking their house as "I WANT TO RETURN"; piphi might get 790 of 1000; aphi might get 785; xo might get 780 ; dg might get 765; sk 710; axo 700; and each of the rest 690 women each ranking to return. Accordingly kkg-piphi-aphi-xo-dg would have to cut a large number of women invited back because there are only 750 slots open for Round Two invitations. In this made-up example SK-axo-and-the-rest accept women to their second parties who wanted to cut their houses...sk 40 women, axo 50 women, and the rest 60 women each...because those houses did not rank high on PNMs "I WANT TO RETURN" lists.
THAT IS HOW WOMEN WHO WANTED TO CUT A HOUSE SOMETIMES GET INVITED BACK ANYWAY.
TODAY'S SYSTEM WORKS TO MAXIMIZE OPPORTUNITY FOR EVERY HOUSE AND FOR EVERY PNM.
25 years ago a PNM who ranked only kkg and pphi after first parties (not wanting the other ten at all) and who was was cut from both houses would be dropped from rush after first round. Today's system works better to place a larger number of women. It's nice to know which specific groups you want, but if they don't want you FOR WHATEVER REASON today's rush system gives you more options to belong.
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