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which houses did you pref and which did you pick?

by:    

I continue to think about some of the issues surrounding our fall recruitment and am now more puzzled than ever? It seems that many posts talk about not trusting the process and by association Panhel. As panhel doesn't choose to share much info how about people post what their pref houses were and which house they picked? Also if you think that you were dropped from a house for no reason post that too. It will be helpful to see this information to see if any patterns emerge. My suspicion is that the patterns will reveal themseles in no time flat!

Posted By: angry2
Page 2 of 11
#11by:    
#11    

This thread is awful too. Half of it is "I didn't get into KKG or DG so I dropped out of recruitment because I'm better than the other 1000 women in not "top" houses. It was so sad". Sorry you didn't stick it out because of your misconceptions and prejudices.

By: Lol
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by: Harsh truth    

Actually the ones who dropped didn't get into 6 houses which is 50% of the houses. That's not being overly selective. Not everyone wants to get into Kappa lol. They were dropped first by KKG and many report feeling completely dismissed during the process. Please pay attention! When you hear a grievance repeatedly there must be something wrong! Please be open to taking a close honest look at the system instead of lashing out at those who were rejected. It's no big deal! They'll just walk and the Panhel system is who loses in the end! Listen please and come away with one thing. Young wonderful ladies are coming away from the Greek system with a terrible taste in their mouth. Young women are feeling unworthy. Young women are choosing to walk away. These are big problems. Not because they are all prejudiced with misconceptions! But because somehow we have failed miserably to create a trustworthy system!

By: Harsh truth
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#12by:    
#12    

To lol, you just aren't getting what all these threads are consistently saying. This is not about not getting in at kkg or dg or piphi or aphi or xo or axo or sk etc. The issue is people aren't trusting the system and are leaving with a really bad taste in their mouth about how they were treated and the indifference they experienced going through recruitment. Take a jog and a sensitivity pill and try to put yourself in someone else's shoes. These people all were hurt and it's not about one house, it's about all houses. If you can't or won't see it I can't help you. But in my opinion your views make our system weaker not stronger.

By: Notloling
by: and   

Notloling: I don't think you get what I'm saying. Recruitment is awful for PNMS, but it is also pretty frustrating for anyone in a mid or low tier house. Which is more than half the Greek system. The fact is though that so many PNMs get so set on one or two houses that they drop out completely when they don't get into those houses. Unfortunately not everyone can get into Kappa, they don't have space for a thousand woman pledge class. I get that people are hurt, but there are many chapters at Cal, and the ones who were consistently hurting people by being overly selective in round 1 this year/dirty rushing are also the ones everyone is dying to be in... don't know how to fix that, but it's not about one chapter, I agree.

By: and
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#13by:    
#13    

Ok, I get what you are saying a bit more. I will think about it a bit more and get back here later. It's a super complicated topic for the majority of houses, I agree. I have no easy quick answer other than what another poster said "be the change". If each and every house does a great job serving its membership day in and day out that over time the outside world will see how great each of the houses are in their own unique way. By people dropping I think they are perpetuating the crazy so called rankings and this cycle feeds on itself year after year. It also makes the weak weaker and the strong strong but in a totally bad way! With the huge number of pnms that dropped this year it's sad to say but we lost a huge opportunity for change this year. Will keep thinking on this but I'm curious what others think too.....

By: Notloling

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by: also @Cal alum   

Supervision by whom, and for what reasons?

Accountability of what factors to whom and to what purpose?

"Houses" are much more "balanced" in total number per house than they were without the RFM system, which began nationwide rollout in 2003.

People will rank because people are people.

Non-whites join the NPC 26 Sororities System every year, and are welcome and encouraged to continue to do so.

And where is your "taking action" going to occur? Will it be a protest near sorority houses calling the system "unfair" and "whites-only" during live recruitment? Plenty of consumers "bought the Cal sorority product" in 2016 (200 more than in 2015) so we aren't "blaming anyone" and are willing to inform and educate people who disagree.

BTW thinking like a corporation can lead to buzzword overuse and informational disconnect between said corp and its members.

By: also @Cal alum
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#14by:    
#14    

It was rough for sure. I had no clue going in and people said it was a relaxed system. We have different definitions of relaxed. I was blown out of six houses almost immediately. I spoke to a friend that is at another school and a year older and she convinced me not to drop. I'm glad I listened as at the time I was devastated. I prefd adpi and aphi and I picked aphi. I never thought I'd end up here but when I met everyone on bid day I very comfortable and felt at home. Wish so many people hadn't dropped. My roommate went in only wanting one house and when she was dropped she quit. She is now devastated and feeling the pain on the social front in a very big way.

By: Rough times
by: @rough times   

The problem is your roommate, not hte system. She only wanted ONE house...that's the problem

The other who feel the pain of early cuts and drop out, YOU are the problem. Not being open. Being focused on tiers.

Stop whining and about being 'devastated' when you are really focused on being part of an elite house and are being a snob to begin with.

You all are upset that the elite houses are being elitist don't see you as elite enough for them while you are too elite to consider other houses. smh.

By: @rough times
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#15by:    
#15    

All I can say is Brava to calalum!!!!! Your comment is totally on point and hits the issue of transparency head on. Issue is we have no stats just anecdotes. We have a panhel with two officers from a fraternity that pulled their charter. As far as I can tell there is no oversight by the university and no means to discuss and resolved differences. Any suggestions?

By: Rough times
#16by:    
#16    

I had prior knowledge so wasn't totally shocked by what happened. What did shock me is that I was a legacy at 3 houses and I was cut by each of these houses IN THE FIRST ROUND (not supposed to happen until second round) and none of these houses even acknowledged the other recommendation forms to the people that sent them (also supposed to happen). Not sure who is monitoring the paperwork from an oversight standpoint but in my book this was an epic fail. Even though I had a really rough start it all ended up well as I ended up with a super hard choice to make in the end. I prefd aphi and piphi and I love my piphi sisters!

By: msggs
by: @msggs   

they didn't like you. simple

move on.

stop acting like there won't be cuts. 1000 smart/accomplished girls go thru and each house needs to whittle down to 70 or whatever after getting to talk to you for 20 mintues.

yeah, there will be cuts based on superficial things.

I have never heard such whining in my life.

By: @msggs
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#17by:    
#17    

I too was dropped by many houses in the first round. I pref'd axo and adpi and while it was hard to pick I chose adpi. I honestly met great gals at so many houses but it was that first massive cut that was so hard to take.

By: nanmc
#18by:    
#18    

I was dropped by piphi, dg, xo and adpi. I pref'd aphi and kkg and chose kkg. Reading all these comments about the rush situation has me questioning my choice. I had no prior idea of what this process would be like and to see how hurt and sad people are has me seriously questioning my choice.

By: catted
by: stillmad   

Catted, I totally get questioning your choice based on where you ended up. Think long and hard about whether you want to activate if you feel in your heart you are not in the right spot. There are other options and until people vote with their feet, nothing will change. Just check in with your sisters at DG on the topic of sisterhood! LOL

By: stillmad
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by: Why   

Are you questioning whether you ought to have rushed or whether u ought to have picked a different house?

By: Why
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by: catted   

Sorry I was unclear but now that you ask the question I am questioning both rushing and my pick. While I am social, I really want more sisterhood/support vs. social so I think I might have not made the best choice for me. PS. My original concern was picking wrong house and not rushing but now I am questioning it all based on the rumors swirling around and no communication from anywhere on what is being said....very disconcerting to tell you the truth.

By: catted
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by: why   

I totally get you! I feel the same. Honestly I only rushed cause my friends were rushing and I was afraid that they would find houses, make other friends, move to the house and I would be left to fend for myself. Even if one of them had chosen to not rush I wouldnt do it cause the process is emotionally and physically draining. Now one of my friends was dropped from 6 or 7 houses and she chose to drop out. I got in and I love the house but really! Why? We were great with each other and having a blast!
I agree with the advice to reconsider carefully before you activate. Do what's right for you. And big props to you for really examining this for it's truth and what it means to you rather than just getting carried away by the ranking! you're amazing! :)

By: why
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by: Trust yourself   

Catted, you are in a far better position to decide which house is best for you than anyone else. Stay where you are for now and try to get to know the sisters there. With such a large group of girls, you're bound to find some friends and good sisterhood. The more time you spend at the house and more you get involved, the better you'll get to know people. If you're seriously considering de-pledging, talk to someone in Panhellenic and find out what the consequences are. You may not be able to pledge somewhere else in the spring and may or may not be able to rush in the fall. Rushing as a sophomore who de-pledged may not be so great either. Kappa is a great house nationally and maybe you can work from the inside to bring more diversity and other changes to it. Not everyone has that opportunity. :)

By: Trust yourself
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by: Catted   

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. I'm ok with where I am but really uncomfortable with comments I'm getting from people I meet about my house and sisters. If even half of what I've heard is true then I'm in the wrong place. I hear you on change from within but sometimes if something is seriously flawed then it takes a group of like minded people to change things. I'm not sure I have that support where I am but we will see and I have time. Also I would never stay just because I would have the stigma of depledging. If I did it for the right reasons then it would be a badge of honor!

By: Catted
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by: Uh no   

Hahaha ^ you are not an " elite" house. You are an elitist house. Do not flatter yourself.

By: Uh no
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by: Actually   

Honestly Kappa girls are alright! I think APhi girls are meaner.

By: Actually
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by: good for you!   

@catted I hope you are now an initiated member of your chosen KKG sorority. Every sorority has traditional standards, values, and expectations for members to uphold. Where silence, secrecy, mystery and privacy need to be maintained, IMO Kappas do a great job. I believe Kappas often silently act rather than boast about doing. Please interpret this as a positive review of KKG and its women.

By: good for you!
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#19by:    
#19    

I pref'd zeta and axo and chose axo. I loved both houses for different reasons. I was looking for a sisterhood and support network and I think I found it. Happy where I am.

By: nanran
#20by:    
#20    

Just wanted to chime in here to stay I prefd theta and xo and chose theta. Really hard to rank as there were nice people so many different places but I wanted a place where I felt comfortable and I think I found it.

By: suzr

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