re: sorority rushing

Well said!!

although the process hasn't changed in decades, that does not make it right. the problem arises when procedures are not followed or explained. for example, when recs (legacy or not) and submitted and "misplaced" resulting in a PNM not being invited back to next round, even though it was identified prior to parties.

my daughter quit recruitment because she pretty much got cut from most houses. I am on here looking for information about spring rush. However, all of these other moms….they are now playing the blame game. Its everyone else's fault their precious daughter did not get the gold ring or medal at the end. This is UF…survival of the fittest. If your daughter is bruised and damaged from THIS she does not belong at this type of competitive school. Take up gardening and get off this computer.

Sorry to the mothers who feel the system is horrible. My daughter went through the exact same process as your daughters did this year. Is it rough? Yes. Is it fair? As much as possible. It is a mutual selection process. My daughter was upset when she got cut from a legacy group and other groups she had strong interest in. She got invited back to groups she had no interest in (they were on the bottom of her list and she was invited back and each time she was invited back it made it that much clearer to her that she did not fit there and she had no desire to join the system if it got to that point), one or two she had a lukewarm interest, and a place she felt comfortable from day one. As she returned to the lukewarm interest groups, she saw potential and at the comfortable group she remained comfortable. The process worked as it should because she saw it through to the end despite what cuts came her way. Allow your daughters to repeat the process next year with you and she both researching the process which is used by Panhellenic Councils throughout the country. The release figure method used by UF and many other SEC schools is a MUCH better system than say a bed quota system used by the Indiana University Panhellenic Council. The SEC Panhellenic sorority chapters are large. UF is pursuing expansion and is having Panhellenic organizations present to become possibly the 17th and 18th NPC sororities on campus. The first sorority(sororities) may colonize next fall.

The sorority which is chosen to colonize will have a spot on the round 1 to provide information on the sorority and will then "bow out" (for lack of better terminology until formal recruitment has ended. Ladies who are interested in affiliating/joining the new colony will then go through a process where the new sorority will pick its' founding members - whether it is done by alumnae, active members from chapters in close proximity or a combination - that is for the new sorority to decide. I envision it to be something like the local sorority DNZ or the two Christian sororities have a few weeks after fall formal recruitment for NPC sororities ends. Again, do your research. Keep an open mind through this process and support your daughter. Find alumnae of as many sororities as you can to write recommendations for your daughter. Encourage your daughter to get involved on campus (she will be going into recruitment as an upperclassmen not a newly graduated high school senior so she needs to continue to show interest/involvement/leadership) and keep her grades up. Each sorority has different requirements as to what a PNM must have and what they can get a variance/waiver on for a lady they really believe will bring something to their chapter. Chapters know what their strengths and weaknesses are so they also know precisely what type of skills they are looking for/will need. Do some sororities base their decisions on image/looks? Probably.

Is there a chapter at UF where your daughter will build friendships for life? Probably if you encourage her to LOOK at each chapter with an open mind, LISTEN to what each chapter has to offer her, THINK about where she will be most happy, SEE what she has to offer the chapter and THROW away the stereotypes, the rankings of the tier system on this site (and others like it), and any preconceived notions she/you/others have of where she should be. FOLLOW the process from start to finish even if that means after round 1 she only goes back to less than 5 chapters or the chapter she had her heart set on had to release her due to return figures. Support, encourage and be there for your daughter whether she chooses to become part of the UF Greek system or remains independent and finds her own niche.

That needs to be revisited is that as the sororities are making decisions on which PNMs will be on their invitation list, the PNMs are ranking the groups in preferential order. Ranking wrong can really effect her results.

As someone pointed out in an earlier post, her daughter kept trying to "drop" some sororities but they kept appearing on her invitation list. This happened because Panhellenic tries to make sure each PNM has a full schedule, or as near to full as can be. If all the sororities that a PNM ranked first ask her back, those are the parties she will attend. If she can attend 10 parties and only received invitations from 8 of her #1 ranked groups, then the two next highest ranked groups will move up- if they invited her back. If they did not keep her on their lists, then the computer goes to the next choice, all the while trying to match her desires with the sororities invitation lists and a full schedule. But if the PNM is not realistic about where she would truly fit in, and ranks the sororities where she would be invited back low, they might pick up from her that she is not interested and not ask her back. After all, why waste an invitation on someone who is giving off vibes that she would rather be elsewhere?

If the PNM continues to return to all the parties she is invited back to thru the pref round and she lists each sorority where she attended prefs., she is considered to have maximized her options and she should receive a bid to one of the sororities she preffed. If she is invited to only two pref parties when she could have been invited to 3, she has still maxed HER options if she lists her two choices on her MRABA. Same with the PNM who only has one invitation. But it matters how she lists them. Let me use this analogy: say your daughter visited Harvard, UF, and UNF. What is her goal? Does she want to go to college ( be a sorority member) or is she only willing to attend certain colleges ( join only a top tier sorority) ? If she decides that it is top tier or nothing, then she has narrowed her choices and greatly restricted the odds that she will be successful. I mean, people do get into Harvard, but far more applicants don't get in. If she applies to Harvard and UF her chances have increased and if she adds UNF to the mix, then she has increased the likelihood that she will be accepted by one of them. If this were your daughter, and she only wanted Harvard and refused to go to college unless it was to Harvard, would you support her decision? I imagine few parents would. You all know that she will get a good education at any of of the 3. It will be different at each school but the end result is a college education and a degree. The same can be said for the sororities.

There might be more supposed prestige saying you are a member of XYZ (Harvard), rather than ABC(UNF) but you would still have a sisterhood, a house with meals provided, homecoming, dance marathon, formal, socials with fraternities.

Being an XYZ at one school doesn't inspire the same amount of awe at all colleges. Sororities vary from college to college. And it matters even less if you move to a different part of the country after graduation. And as much as I value my sorority membership, I have friends who were independents who have never felt they missed out by not being Greek . They got involved other ways.

So glad to hear that your daughter had such a great attitude and didn't let a bump in the road prevent her from finding a sorority home. Kudos to your chapter for realizing your daughter would shine brighter somewhere else, and kudos to you for moving past your disappointment. Sounds like you raised your daughter right!