how bad is it to suicide?

You've talked to the houses who have called you back for a total of one hour (plus 20 minutes if you did fall preview) and talked to a handful of girls out of an entire chapter. The houses know better than you do at this point if you're a good fit for them or not. Houses that asked you back see something in you. Give it a chance and don't suicide. If you suicide, you may not get a bid, and you wouldn't be eligible for snap bids, if I remember correctly (I'm sure any active can confirm/deny this).

My opinion is to only list the houses where you would absolutely accept their bid. If you maximize your chances with A and B but you only like A but get B and turn down their bid, you take away another PNM's chances to getting B, which she might really love.

I would stick out through pref night then only write down the ones you are interested in then. It doesn't look bad to suicide, but it does look bad to be in a house for a few months then drop before initiation to re rush.
My best friend suicided at a different university and she said as soon as she got to her dorm she regretted it. It ended up working out in her case, but she decided after she suicided her mid tier sorority that she'd rather be in a bottom chapter than not Greek life at all
Most girls will get in to one of their top two choices at pref. Very few girls get their third choice. But with that being said, don't write down your third choice if you would drop if you get it

It honestly comes down to this: do you want to risk suiciding one house and not getting a bid and not being in a sorority? The sorority knows you better than you know yourself, and while you might absolutely love them, they might love someone else over you. It's all a values based recruitment and you might not rank that high on their values list, whereas at another house you might be top of the list. In reality, every house is pretty much the same. You'll find you're best friends in each house. Just clearly one is better at matching actives to you than the others

Then you go back to the houses next weekend keep an open mind. Look around at the other PNM's esp. during prefs. those are the girls that could be in your pledge class.
It is such a hard decision because after 4 visits how do you know you'll really fit in . You only think you know. So like the above posts stated if you really want to be in the greek system make it work.
I grew to love my house it wasn't an instance love. So figure out what you want and go from there.

Also, you are try to get 1 of the 60 spots offered out of over 1300 girls. That's only less than a 4% chance you have

if you suicide a house, does that house know it???

If you do not maximize your options (put down three houses) but fill out a pref sheet, you cannot rush for one calendar year regardless of if you get a bid or not. So a freshman who suicides and does not receive a bid cannot rush until her sophomore year formal recruitment. Same for if you drop a house before initiation. And generally as class rank goes up, chances of being asked back go down.

Sorry, it hurts your chances instead of helping them actually.

If you suicide, PHA can cut you in order to give a bid to someone that maximized their options. We have had girls on our bid list not receive their bid because they suicided and PHA can cut these people at random or if they're towards the bottom of the bid list.