Hey girl, First of all, I just wanted to say that you look great today. You know I love you to pieces. But I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. You haven’t been yourself ever since we got our littles, and it’s a little frustrating. I know that you’re not thrilled because you didn’t get your first choice, but please understand: complaining about it won’t help.
You’ve been given an opportunity to make this new bundle of joy your own, and discover a new friendship with a girl that our chapter wanted. So maybe you didn’t hit it off right away. Maybe you haven’t really had a chance to spend any time with her. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have anything in common. Listen, you two are in the same sorority for a reason, which means that you probably have the same values. And more likely than not, you both feel a little weird and uncomfortable about this situation. I hear you say, “well she doesn’t reach out to me either!”- but here’s the thing… you’re her big. You’re the one that sets the example; you’re the role model. So if she sees you not caring, then she won’t care either. But maybe you do care, and you just don’t know how to fix this. Don’t worry, here are a few things you can do to improve your big/little relationship:
- Find a few hours where the two of you can talk. Like, really talk, not just ask how her day has been.
- Apologize. I’m not kidding- set your ego aside for like, an hour, and take some time to explain to her that you should have been setting a better example. You don’t need to give her a monologue, but doing this will probably prompt her to apologize for also being a little MIA.
- Ask her how she feels about the situation, and what she expects out of a big/little relationship. Let her know what you want, too. I know too many girls that wanted a very involved big, and ended up with one that just wanted a relaxed relationship. I can’t stress how important being on the same page is.
- Plan together about what you two can do to make sure that there won’t be any tension in the future. If you two decide that you want to be more involved in each other’s lives, then plan on getting lunch or dinner more often, or texting each other a few times a week to see how things are going.
Big/little relationships have the potential to be one of the closest bonds that you can have within your sorority. Be honest with her, but don’t point fingers. This is a two-person effort, and if you make a genuine effort, you two can work things out. You don’t need to be attached at the hip, but by doing this, you can have an opportunity to help guide a new member through some of the toughest years of her life. And one day, when your little gets her own little, she’ll be able to pass down the story about how you’re the most sincere, kick-ass big she could ever hope to get.
