If you go to a school like mine, every fraternity has an away weekend, one in the fall and one in the spring. Some schools might call it formal. Fall away weekends usually consist of traveling to a mountainous area and renting the biggest houses possible, while spring away weekend revolves around acquiring beach houses (tits out for the boys).
These are by far the best weekends of the semester for any fraternity because of how wild and out of control they get. So here are the top 5 signs that you and your fraternity brothers (and dates of course) killed it over away weekend.
You find out the week after you come back that you’ve lost the entire security deposit
Now this one is a no brainer, but for anyone that has never been on an away weekend or isn’t it Greek life, you probably are wondering why I am saying that this is actually a good thing. The concept of any away weekend is simple: drink as much as possible and rage your ass off. With all this drinking comes damages, and I’m not talking about a few broken glasses or stains on the living room rug. There’s a 95% chance that 100% of the houses you rent for the weekend will look like complete shit holes when you leave them. If I could install a hidden camera in each house to see the owner’s reaction when they came back, you bet your ass I’d do it. So when you receive that dreaded email from the rental company explaining that you have lost your $15,000 security deposit, you should celebrate by taking a shot with your brothers because in the end you knew you had a better chance of getting laid by Kate Upton than ever seeing that money again.
The thought of drinking alcohol when you get back makes you cringe and almost puke
Whether you want to believe it or not, alcohol makes a party more fun. People dance better, go up to hotter girls to make conversation, and hooking up is in most cases way easier. This means that over away weekend you will consume as much alcohol as you probably did the previous month. My last away weekend involved my date and I finishing a handle and fifth of vodka, and 3 bottles of champagne. Don’t worry parents it was done over a three day period so don’t call AA or Passages Malibu. The days of away weekend are always great and tons of fun because of how shitfaced you and everyone around you is. But we all know that with excessive drinking comes extreme hangovers. By the time you get back from the weekend you should rather want to be curb stomped 10 times by Hulk Hogan than take a shot of alcohol. If not, than you didn’t drink enough and probably looked like a bitch to all of your brothers.
You pretty much forgot to eat the whole weekend cause you were too drunk
Now this one may seem a little far-fetched, but trust me it happens to at least 50% of everyone that goes on away weekend. You buy all this food and load it into your car to only forget to eat it over the weekend. While this may cause you to bitch and moan about the money you spent that is now pretty much wasted, do you really give a shit? The answer should be no. You got enough empty calories from all the alcohol you consumed, which is better than nothing. So what if you only had crackers the entire weekend, it was probably well worth it. And of course there will likely be someone who tries to start a coal burning grill with hard liquor because someone forgot lighter fluid.
You get into at least one argument with your date about stupid shit
Neither you nor your date want to, but between the insane amounts of booze, close quarters, probable hook ups, and lack of sleep, you know it’s bound to happen at some point. Most likely it’ll be over the fact that you are drinking too much and acting like a dumbass, or in some rare and hard to find cases, she is way too drunk (if this is the case put a ring on it and marry her). It is worthy to note that there will also always be that one drunken brother that is instigating the whole thing too, so man up. Regardless of what the argument is about, get over it quickly so you can both enjoy the remaining time you have together and finish all the alcohol you purchased. If you don’t want to take my advice, enjoy an awkward AF car ride home on Sunday when you are both hung-over as shit. Not getting into an argument with your date probably means you held back like a pansy.
Your next chapter meeting is twice as long because of all the hilarious stories people will share about the weekend
This is by far the biggest way to tell if your chapter as a whole did things right. If every brother does not have at least one wild story to share about the weekend, the whole chapter looks softer than a GDI in cargos. This is where you get to share that wild sex story or infamous vodka chug that everyone has been talking about. I’m sorry if I want to share with my closest friends how you and I had wild sex in the hot tub or in the middle of the woods. If anything you should be thanking me for making you look like the shit to my brothers. No one wants to be that kid who everyone was asking about all weekend if he was there or not, so drink up and rage so your weekend goes down in history. And who knows, maybe the girl you took may end up being your future girlfriend if you play your cards right.
