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How do I tell my family not to get their hopes up?

by:    

A ton of women in my family are members of a specific sorority. They seem to think that this means I’m guaranteed a bid. I’ve tried to explain to them that Bama isn’t like the tiny northern schools they all rushed at but they don’t believe me. How do I get them to be realistic about this?

Posted By: already tired of it
Page 1 of 1
#1by:    
#1    

What house? If it’s New Row you probably have a decent chance. If Old Row there is way more competition.

By: legacy

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#2by:    
#2    

Tell your family members that you are trying to go through with an open mind and that you'll be excited wherever you get bid!

This is your experience and not theirs. Enjoy it!

By: That's all you need to sa
#3by:    
#3    

Go to that sorority's national website and see what their legacy policy is. Most now state that legacies no longer get the courtesies that used to be extended to them, they are now just like every other pnm. Also confirm what legacy status is for that sorority, because aunts and cousins almost never count as granting legacy to a pnm, only moms and sisters and grandmas usually. Then point out that many sororities here have never really cared about legacies from other chapters because houses here have usually had enough legacies from their very own chapters to fill a chunk of their classes. And then show them how many pnm's are going through, and the new member class sizes, and see if they think you would stand out as a guaranteed bid within those huge numbers. If they don't believe and want to keep pushing, tell them it's your rush, they had their own time, now this is your time.

By: Oh boy
#4by:    
#4    

Hi y'all! First I wanted to thank you so much for all of the advice. It has helped a TON! Before I update let me answer some of the questions that came up: yes, it is an Old Row house and no, it does not have a legacy policy. Or, I guess I should say, the policy was discontinued between the time my last relative rushed and now. I hope y'all can forgive me for not being more specific than that.

Long story short, I had a huge talk with my mom about everything and I feel a lot better. I want to make it super clear that she has NOT been the source of the issues here. She understands how competitive my rush will be and hasn't done or said anything to make me feel weird for being stressed and apprehensive. All she wants is for me to end up in a house that I love. Unfortunately, it does not seem like my other family members will ever be on the same page. I've decided to put my head down and ignore them until after rush has ended.

I'm looking forward to every minute of the next few weeks. Even the crazy, stressful ones. Thank you again for all of the advice, I really do appreciate it!

By: already tired of it
by: Yay!   

Smart girl. You sound like you've got it together and will do just fine! Do let your legacy house know though, because you never know if it will be a tie-breaker for them, and you may want them. Best of luck!

By: Yay!
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by: Love   

As a lot of sororities move to values based recruitment, try to focus on the values that your family members share that are part of that house.

You can say to the women rushing you: "my mom was in this house and it had a huge impact on her!" Whether or not you get invited back the sisters will love hearing that.

By: Love
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