Question about pref round
by: ...i know a lot of people say that during pref round you should make it clear to both houses which one you'd rather go but like, how do you say it to the house you won't rank as first?? like what's a good and not awkward way to say that you've found your home somewhere else? i'm kinda panicking lol because what if you don't get your first choice and even if you love your second choice, they know you weren't their first. anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
#1by: ??
Comment#2by: Honestly
It’s a pretty hard thing to say, I had to say it. Be nice all of pref because you never know where you will go. Closer towards the end mention the fact that you’ve loved talking and getting to know them, but that you think you’ve found your home somewhere else! Saying it at the beginning could make it more awkward. During pref usually you get to steer the conversation however you want, so it’s really up to you. I found waiting until closer to the end made it less awkward in my conversation, but I had girls who told me at the beginning of ours and we just talked about random things!
#3by: Not that way
Telling a house that you want the other one does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to get you high enough on the bid list of the one you want. If your #1 doesn't place you high enough before they match to quota, there is every chance that you will go to your #2, and then you'll be 'that one' that everyone knows wanted to be somewhere else. Focus on your #1 and telling them how you feel, but you can certainly tell #2 that you are still "unsure" and that will not burn a bridge with them in case you end up there.
#7by: Rethink your strategy
I know this is hard to hear but your rank between your last 2 houses does not determine which house you get a bid from. What matters is how high you are ranked by those houses on their lists. Many, many PNM's do not get a bid from the house they ranked first.
by: True
All true about your Pref rank meaning something more than previous rounds (which in previous rounds your rank is pretty meaningless) but your rank still isn’t more impactful than the house’s rank of you. If your #1 house has super high returns and they fill their bid list before they get to your name (because you aren’t at the very top of their list), you get your 2nd house despite your #1 rank.
It’s best to be mentally prepared for getting your 2nd choice because it’s not uncommon.
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#8by: Except
If you make it known to your #2 that you don't want them, then they will put you at the very bottom of their bid list. Then your #2 may fill quota before they reach your name too. Then you become a quota addition and put with one of your pref choices which is usually your #1. It's how to go through the back door to get your #1 without the risk of suicide.
by: not so fast
That is no backdoor to count on. Your #2 will not necessarily put you at the very bottom, just bump you down some if they really really want you, and will still make an effort to get you despite them being your #2 on the chance that you won't match with your first choice. Your bid depends completely on how your #1 ranks you. Pnm's need to make it clear at pref to their favorite, if they have one, but not be as directly negative with their #2; they could still end up there. Also, quota additions do take into account the pnm's first choice, but also her place on the relative bid lists, the house membership totals, and the number of quota additions to be placed.
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#9by: hi
I told my first house I wanted them, and then my second house that my heart was with my other house. But I still told my second that I still would be very happy if I ended up there on bid day (which is true I got my two favorite houses for pref). I ended up getting my second house, they were totally understanding about what I had said during pref. Remember, these girls have too been in your position and know what it’s like to have to tell a house they want to go the other way! Don’t stress, my rho chi encouraged us to be honest with our houses. But if that makes you too nervous, just tell your second that you are unsure
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by: ^
Not true. The pnm's ranks do matter for bid matching, far more than their ranks in the previous rounds. The matching process begins by going through the sororities' bid lists, in order, and matching with pnm's that put them as number 1. The algorithm skips over the pnm's that have put that house as their number 2, only trying to match with the 1's until that house matches to quota. This is how the pnm's ranks matter! And when a pnm is matched with one house she is removed from her other pref house's bid list. If a house goes all the way through their bid list without matching to quota with the pnm's who put them as 1, the algorithm will then try again, starting over at the top of their bid list and matching with the pnm's who are still left in the process who put them as number 2. The sororities' ranked bid lists drive the process, but you can see that the pnm's ranks can actually make a difference.
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