Another rush question

No they’re not. The language is tricky but it’s ok to say things like this. Don’t be surprised to hear things like “I can see you fitting in well here….I like you and my friends do too…I hope you will come back…” that is not bid promising. Bid promising is: “I know you’re at the top of the list…We will definitely see you on bid day…”. This happens less than you think and just like it’s ok for you to let a house know how much you like them, it’s ok for them to share the same feelings with you.

So many girls think they've been promised a bid because they don't listen carefully to what the active actually said. A bid promise (we've already decided that you're at the top of our list for bid day) usually comes with a "suggestion" that you will need to put that house first on your list. That helps their return rate. The real truth is NOTHING that one girl says to you tells you how you rate with that house. All houses vote on their pnms and any girl only has one vote.

One house used to make you cry at pref and the girl rushing you would tell you how much they want you for their little -- and show you something (in my case a necklace) that they've already bought for you but (because of Panhellenic rules) can't give to you until bid day. I put them 2nd and got my first choice. Later I talked to another girl about recruitment and they did the same thing to her. Even that isn't bid promising.