CORE 4 SORORITY GUIDE

Delta Gamma: TOP HOUSE, join if you want to feel better than everyone else on campus when driving around in your g-wagon.

Kappa: if you really want friends with ski houses in Aspen and penthouses on the Upper West Side, Kappa is the house for you.

Alpha Phi: join if your main goal in college is to raise your body count by hooking up with men who don’t know how to wear deodorant.

Theta: doesn’t have social clout of other houses. Join if you want to build a depth of character and become a wifey, but you won’t get any street cred at Cornell