sororites as my parents divorce

dg - my mom
aphi - my dad's new gf
sig chi - my dad
lambda - my dad's lawyer
sig pi - the banker hiding my dads money so he doesnt have to split it 50/50
phi sigma sigma - my moms lawyer
sdt - wants to be my dads lawyer but charges way too much per hour
AD - the bias judge
aephi - the court papers that supeona me to testify against each parent
kappa kappa gamma - the pen for signatures
phi tau - the gavel
seal and serpent - court security clearance machine