big/little
by: upsetso i got my big the other day, and she was a girl who i've never even met. we have nothing in common, and frankly she seems a little weird. i don't think we're going to have a very good relationship, because during times when we have to be together, she doesn't even talk to me very much. is this going to negatively affect my experience in my sorority? is the big/little thing like a huge deal, or is it only a big deal if you make it a big deal?
#1 by: Same boat
I was in the same boat my freshman year. I didn't know any upperclassman in my sorority and ended up with a random big. She was super nice but we had nothing in common. We tried to make it work, but our schedules and personalities were so different that we rarely talked. I know lots of girls who have similar experiences. It was upsetting for a little while but I got over it. I still made great friends in my house. I talked to my big when I saw her in passing, but that's it.
My advice, try to get to know her. Sit with her for lunch or dinner at your house. If both of you like to go out, meet up at the bars. Sometimes the best friendships are made while drunk. Give it a little effort. If the two of you hang out for a few weeks and find y'all have absolutely nothing in common, it's okay. Just be friendly when you see her but you can't force a great friendship. And when it comes time for you to get a little, try to meet the babies as soon as they pledge. Chances are you can find one you like and make her your little.
Comment#2 by: Similar question
I met the girl who picked me up on Bid Day and the girl who rushed me during recruitment week just that week. I hadn't known either girl before. The sophomore introduced herself as "my future big" I love them both!.... But never ever see either and I try to text them to hangout but they're both very busy. Would it change if they're my family? I really want to be super close with mine. And if they want me, do I get them no matter what?
by: WellOct 18, 2015 10:17:40 PM
Every sorority is different. Mine try to match bigs and littles the best they can. If you put your big as your top choice and she puts you as her top choice, you match up. It gets a little messy when lots of sophomores want a certain little or vice versa. My big is really busy but we make time to see each other. We usually eat lunch together once a week. Everyone has time to eat lunch! We also try to go out together or meet at the bars every few weekends. But mostly I just see her at chapter or sorority events. Not being close with your big or having a busy big isn't a big deal. Like others said, you'll be closer with your pc than with your big anyways
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#3 by: Junior
My big and I are super close, we make special plans to hang out with each other, but I don't hang out with her friends and she doesn't hang out with mine.
Last year when I got my little, I had never met her before. We don't really hang out that much, but I'm closer with her than most of her pledge class.
Bottom line, you will be closer with your own pledge class. Don't be fooled by outward appearances of your friends, big/little relationships don't really matter that much to most of us!
by: upsetOct 18, 2015 10:46:29 PM
y'all don't know how much better you're making me feel about this whole thing! i can't thank you enough for this advice! it's so easy to be blinded by all of the pictures and gifts and things that happen during reveal, but i need to remember that i joined a sorority to become close with my pledge class!
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#4 by: No.
You joined a sorority to be close with your PC?! What about sisterhood? Your big sis is suppose to help you, mentor you, be someone you can trust. I would be upset if I were you too. Joining a sorority is not suppose to be like joining a country club. Honestly, some country clubs are pickier about selecting members. I wanted so badly to have a close relationship with my big. I have no relationship with my big. As a sophomore, I am going to do whatever I can to make sure my little feels loved. Sophomores need to STEP UP and take care of their littles. Make an effort to reach out.
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by: upsetOct 18, 2015 8:41:46 PM
Thanks for your advice. I feel like my situation is going to pan out similarly to yours in that we'll be cordial and friendly but not much more. It sort of stung yesterday when I saw the girl I wanted (she preffed me) with her new little but I'm trying to move past it.
It's hard for me to make strong connections in such a short time frame and so I'm not surprised that I got a random big. We're going to try and go out to lunch this week to learn more about each other so who knows, maybe we'll become friends. I'm just going to focus on making strong relationships with my pledge class. It seems like in my chapter people don't really make a big fuss about families and hang out with their pledge class instead. I think I might try and become friends with the girl who I wanted to be my big, because I really like her, and hope we can have a big/little relationship without the title.
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