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will i have a chance?

by: NewYorker   

I'm from a very nice suburb of NYC and the only one from my high school headed to Ole Miss. How tough will it be for me to get a bid? Do any of the top houses consider out-of-state girls?

Posted By: NewYorker
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#1by: out of state   
#1    

YES. People- please read through a few pages of threads if you have a question so you can see if it may have already been answered!!!!

You will most definitely have a chance of getting a bid. No matter where you live, you have a chance if you have decent grades and at least one rec.
The reason why people think that out of state PNMs don't do as well is because they usually don't have any connections. CONNECTIONS ARE SO IMPORTANT!! With so many girls going through now a days, it is nearly impossible to get into a "top" house without knowing a soul. Hundreds of actives have to decide whether to cut or ask back almost 2 thousand girls, and they all already have girls that they know and want in their chapter. If you're name comes up and the only person that really knows you is the girl you talked to for 20 minutes, it could turn out badly for you. It's not your fault and its not personal, it's just that there are SO many girls that someone has to get cut! But it does happen every year. There are girls who stand out on the first day and that a few of the actives insist on inviting back because they want to get to know the PNM better. There is no guarantee that it will happen to you, but there is a chance. Don't get discouraged about it.

continued in comment

By: out of state
by: out of state   

But there are girls who are also coming from across the nation and they have somehow made connections already. If you haven't already gotten all your recs to your rec writers, then do it as fast as you can. The faster you get on their radar the better. It's honestly a little late for that though, because actives from all the sororities are all over the country and all over the world at this point in the summer. Still, DON'T STRESS!!! Just get them in and make sure they have the correct info you need to have on it.

While connections are the main problem for out of state girls, there are SO many other factors that play into whether you get a bid or not, such as grades, personality, recs, looks (shallow I know), how the actual week of rush goes, etc.

You will be cut from most houses if you have below a 3.0. There are a few exceptions, but don't count on it.
You will be cut from most houses (or every house) if you do not have at least one rec (since it is a national rule for a lot of sororities for a PNM to have a rec in order to receive a bid), or if your rec writer says that they don't want you in their sorority. Get at least 2 recs if possible. I suggest 2 recs and 2 or 3 letters if you can. If you can't, 1 or 2 recs will do. But get at least one rec. This is especially true for you out of state girls so we can really get a glimpse of you since we don't know you.

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By: out of state
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by: out of state   

You will probably be cut from the "top" houses if you don't know one active going into recruitment. I talked about this above. (if you have strong suits in other categories such as grades, personality, looks, etc, then you could get around this. But if you don't have great grades and you're shy etc, then not having connections could really hurt your recruitment.
If you aren't drop dead gorgeous, then you need to have strength in other areas such as grades or personality. I know it sucks, but everyone cares about looks. Looks are the first thing you see about a person. If you aren't that naturally pretty (like me), just make sure that you look put together. There are tons of average looking girls going through that will get bids to top tier sororities. Sororities would rather someone who isn't that naturally pretty but knows how to take care of themselves rather than someone who is naturally pretty but forgot to shower and brush their teeth.
If you are shy, there is a chance that you could possibly be dropped from a few houses because of it. Going back to the fact that so many girls go through - sororities don't have time to sit and wait for you to break out of your shell when the time is ticking and there are girls to be cut and there are PNMs that they are already obsessed with. But you will not be the only one. Try to get out of your comfort zone! If you aren't very good at small talk, practice in these next few months.

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By: out of state
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#2by: out of state   
#2    

So, to wrap it up, YES you have a chance. But no one can look at your name and what city your from and tell you whether you'll get a bid or not. It's like pieces of a puzzle. Your location is only a small piece. Don't worry about it. You can't change where you live now, so focus on other things that you can change such as your conversation skills, your wardrobe, etc. Do NOT change who you are or what you like for recruitment! You want a house that will accept you for you. I'm not saying for everyone to go out and buy 5 Lilly dresses. But if you really love Lilly, then go get a dress for one day of recruitment. Spoil yourself a little bit. It will be a stressful week. But if you hate Lilly, then don't even go near the store! Go to your favorite store and get the necklace you've had your eye on for months.

By: out of state
by: out of state   

I meant to put the comment above this one as a reply to my first comment.... I'm really struggling! I wasn't expecting my answer to be this freaking long but I kind of took your question and expanded on it.

So key points - BE YOURSELF! Don't chance who you are or you'll be miserable for the next 4 years. DONT LISTEN TO STEREOTYPES (or what other people around you say)! While yes, there are rankings because some chapters are stronger than others, none are better than others! There is a difference in stronger and better. All of our chapters are outstanding. Go with your heart and where you feel most comfortable and at home. Prepare for recruitment! If you haven't done so already, put some work in and get your rec packets together and sent to your rec ladies. Jazz up your wardrobe. And something I forgot to mention in my other comments - keep your reputation in good standing! You will probably get cut from every house if you get flat out crazy drunk at the bars in Oxford every single weekend before recruitment starts and hit on upperclassmen. If that's just the kind of person you are, then by all means, continue on. Like I said, don't change who you are for a sorority. Just don't do something you'll regret on bid day when you are sitting alone in your dorm room.

You will end up where you're supposed to. It is a really crazy week but it is worth all the tears and hard work that you've done over the past few months. Goodluck and don't worry!

By: out of state
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#3by: ^^^^^   
#3    

I read, and liked, your first two posts, then I got bored and my ADHD kicked in.

Too bad, you were giving good info.

By: ^^^^^
by: out of state   

Hahaha, yeah I figured thats the way it would be for most people. I tend to explain really in depth. I considered stopping after like the first paragraph but I figured some PNMs would need to see all of that so I just continued lol

By: out of state
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#4by: New Yorker   
#4    

Hey girl,
I am an active at Ole Miss and I am also from a nice suburb of NYC. I am in a "top" house and had no connections. Definitely get recs, they aren't everything but they will help you out. Honestly just be yourself and you will end up where you fit in. I feel that I ended up in the perfect house for me. Don't worry too much about tiers. I know everyone wants their sorority to be considered "top" but you will end up in a sorority where you will fit in. I am in a house full of southern girls and if rush was all about where you are from than I wouldn't have ended up in my sorority.

By: New Yorker
by: Ummm   

It's unlikely that anyone got into a top sorority without connections, especially from the north. Just saying!

By: Ummm
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by: New Yorker   

It is definitely difficult to get into a "top" sorority if you have no connections and are from the north. However, it did happen to me and I'm just on here trying to calm the nerves of an incoming freshman who is scared just like I was two years ago. I will say that most of the people (guys and girls) from NY that I have met at Ole Miss happen to be in "lower" houses, but that isn't the case with me. Saying the rush is all about where you are from is ridiculous.

By: New Yorker
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#5by: Also a PNM from NY   
#5    

Your post literally just cured 75% of the anxiety I have coming into college. Thank you so much!

By: Also a PNM from NY

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by: New Yorker   

No Problem! Good Luck :)

By: New Yorker
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by: @newyorker    

Puppies and rainbows, puppies and rainbows! Why don't you promise her a unicorn as well? It's not at easy as this for MOST New Yorkers!

By: @newyorker
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