suggestions for happy sorority recruitment

I wish I hadn’t gone in with my heart set on one house. in my opinion they didn’t put on a great rush but becuase I had wanted them for so long I considered them the best, just for them to drop me and get my heart broken. PNMs, just becuase girls from a certain house rush you really hard and take you out all the time doesn’t guarantee you a bid. I learned this the hard way. but I ended up with a great house and looking back, I don’t think I would have fit in as well in the other house I thought i wanted to be in. because I was so dead set on a certain house, I didn’t really give the other houses a chance which would have changed my rush a lot. give every house a chance, becuase you may end up loving one you wouldn’t expect. don’t worry about tiers, worry about where YOU feel at home. I know quite a few girls in “top” houses that don’t feel welcomed or at home and had wished they had gone something else. don’t let this happen to you. happy rush ladies ! it’ll be here before u know it.

Agree with both earlier posters and here's my story.

I was fixated on 2-3 top houses - knew several members. Wanted them to the exclusion of paying attention to many other houses. Those top houses cut me, then I got cut from many other houses - no surprise since no-one wants a member who's not really interested in them. And yes I was a snob - the house that most wanted me was lower tier and that upset me at first Thankfully they didn't give up on me and I learned that they are an incredible group of women.

Questions I wish I'd asked myself after each party:

1) Was I able to really be myself and have genuine conversations? Or did things feel forced and "trying" hard? (we're all trying to make a good impression in parties but there's the "natural trying" vs. "forced trying").
2) How did my body feel? Seriously if you feel tense and tired after a party versus relaxed and happy, that's a big clue. Looking back, I was tense after leaving the houses I thought I wanted - I was trying so hard to make them like me...whereas when I left a few other houses, I was so relaxed that I wasn't tired.
3) Here's the question I asked after pref: Can I really see myself being there? When I imagined myself in that house, did I feel good and have a smile?

Now, not every PNM will be able to say "yes" to that last question and even if you can't, go ahead and take a bid, show up happy and give it your best shot. Many girls take bids and wind up loving a house they were unsure about.

Biggest lesson - go where you feel most relaxed and most wanted. That's where you'll thrive because like others here I've seen girls pledge a certain house "because" (legacy, friends, etc.) and they never felt at home. (And that's not to say that top tier pledges aren't a fit for that house - many are!).

my biggest regret during rush was getting a spray tan before, was 20 different colors by the end of the first day

ha ha ha @LOL - I did the same and it was a nightmare- biggest rush regret ever!!!!! I think my last house cut me because they thought I had some horrible skin disease...

I think everyone has given great advice... I guess the one I wish I had really listened to was pay attention to the other girls at the parties with you as well as the actives rushing you.. because honestly they are the ones that you will be hanging out with the most. Do you like them, do you see hanging out with them. (and note this is NOT the same as listening to what other girls have to say before or after each party about a particular house-- because seriously especially with VQ no one knows where anyone will end up- there are zero guarantees)

And to piggyback on what the first girl said- the one thing I am really glad I listened to was when everyone said "give your house a chance" your not going to like everyone in your house- our houses and pledge classes are way too big- and there isn't (for most of us) an instant "oooh best friends, sisters, I feel so at home"- but give it a chance, find your group and it wont matter where you end up because you will fit in.

Thrilled to see some kind and realistic answers here for a change.

Be kind to everyone. You never know who will end up being your pledge sisters and which house you'll run to.

Give actives the benefit of the doubt - meaning that once I was on the other side I realized some girls really hate rush - they're not good at chit chat, they don't like the selection process, it's just not easy for them; sometimes that could show and be mis-intepretated as being rude, etc. And even if a girl is a snob, still be nice.

in your opinions, if a pnm is going through as a junior and has been through formal recruitment at her formal school, does she have potential to get a bid? i know recruitment is intense and geared towards freshmen but i figured i would ask

I wish I had broken my shoes in better over the summer... so many bandaids.

I also wish that my roommate and I hadn't talked about our ranking after pref so much. I got my second choice house and had spent so much time thinking about how much I loved my first choice house that I was a little bummed. After pref there really is a decent chance you get either house so though you rank them, prepare yourself to be happy with either one and you'll enjoy bid day more!