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not accepting my bid

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I received a bid to my second choice (really not my choice at all- was told that I had to rank it even though I had politely told them i didn't feel their house was where I was supposed to be) and since I had signed some form I now can't just drop out but have to decline the bid. I want to go out for rush next fall...what are my chances? My grades will be great and I hope to get to know many more of the girls in the sorority that I want to join. In addition, I will be active in a couple of honor societies and in sports clubs on campus. Will that make a difference?

Posted By: Curious
Page 1 of 1
#1by:    
#1    

if you accepted a bid you can usually rush for 2 semesters... so you'd be a junior rushing. chances of getting is if you truly get girls in that sorority to pull for you.

By: welp

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#2by:    
#2    

You can always drop out of your current sorority. It was explained over & over that if you signed that "form" and got a bid, you would be unable to rush again until next year. At this point, you are not declining your bid. That happens on Bid Day. You are dropping out.

Drop your sorority with the understanding that your choices are very likely to remain in your current sorority or have NONE AT ALL. The chances of you rushing successfully again next year are close to zero. So... will you be happier where you are or with nothing? Your choice.

By: Truth
by: Tup   

Better to take what you got and work your butt off for your sorority and make it great.

By: Tup
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#3by:    
#3    

I will never understand someone who doesn't feel at "home" among 400+ girls. You just haven't given your sorority a chance. If you think you are too good for them - you are wrong. You can drop out but you will have missed out on a full year of Greek Life among girls who really wanted you.

By: It's up to you
by: Help   

Let me help you out. "I don't feel at home = "I'm too good for them and belong in a higher ranked house."

This is the reason I'm glad my house has a "Once dropped, dropped again" policy. It may see harsh, but If you can't find a home with 400 girls in one sorority, you won't fit in anywhere.

Good luck OP. You have a HUGE uphill battle.

By: Help
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#4by:    
#4    

Agree with everything that has been said above- remember your first choice house just didn't have you high enough on their bid list- at that point it wasn't a numbers game it was simply a fact of them liking other people / saw other girls fitting in better than you- this is not likely to change next year. Good luck if you decide to drop and try again but really doubt your results will be different.

By: agree
#5by:    
#5    

Some important things to consider before dropping out of your sorority:

1. Would you really rather not be Greek at all than be in your house? Because that's a significant risk you take while dropping. Sophomore rush tends to be a lot more difficult for girls who dropped or declined bids than girls who are going through for the first time as sophomores.

2. Do you really think you can get to know 50+ girls WELL in the house you want? Because if takes a lot more than just a few friends to round up the votes in most chapters. I'm not sure how you'll even go about "targeting" this chapter without seeming creepy or stalkerish. Friendships grow organically, not because you want something from people.

Good luck, whatever you choose. Just remember there is no more desirable pnm than a freshman going through for the first time with a blank slate. You won't have that luxury next year, and you'll need a damn good answer for why you depledged.

By: Me
#6by:    
#6    

PS - you can't decline your bid now. You accepted it, went to Bid Day, and are part of the new member class. You would be dropping out at this point, not declining a bid.

By: Me
#7by:    
#7    

Bet you anything all these replies were from the mean old ladies on GreekChat - sounds just like what they say to everyone in your situation

By: old ladies
#8by:    
#8    

^^THIS. GreekChat has some of the meanest @ass old ladies alive. I'm sorry this happened to the OP. My only words of encouragement would be to face the choices you have: give your house a chance or drop it and change schools. Blessings to you.

By: @#7
#9by:    
#9    

don't read these posts about DONT drop, they are just scarred you are in their house and they'll lose a sister.

as for the post above about oh there's 400 girls and if you can't find a friend in 400 girls, the problem is you blah blah. the only house that is like really different is theta. if it's theta and you don't fit into theta, then you should drop. yes there is a good chance you won't get a bid at all next year, but if you don't like the house at all, then why be in it and pay money etc

now if it's not theta, most houses are very diverse and you should stick to it

as for sophomore bids, the only houses that really take sophomores are aphi (if you are pretty out of state) or aoii (kind of wall paper like), but you have to fit their bill 110%

By: well
by: @OP   

Ignore the above comment. This is an EXTREMELY bitter ole ADPi alum, I recognize her 'advice' from her many toxic previous postings. She hates Ole Miss Greek life and has no confidence that ADPi will be successful on the Ole Miss campus.

As for the sororitys not wanting to lose a sister - that's true, we don't want to lose a sister. However, if you do not want to be with us, we would rather you find your place wherever you decide that place is. Most of us love our Sisterhood and we would absolutely welcome you to be a part of it, which is exactly what happened when we invited you to join us, but we aren't going to force you to stay.

As for the insult to Theta, take it as the hateful bitter old lady that this poster is. And for the record AOPi is not a wallflower sorority and Alpha Phi is pretty and that's not an insult.

The OP ultimately has to make her own decision. I do hope she weights the benefits of being a sister in a wonderful sorority because ALL of our Ole Miss sororities are amazing.

By: @OP
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#10by:    
#10    

What would be the difference in not being able to find friends in Theta? Just curious, why couldn't find friends in a 183 member pledge class? Honest answers please.

By: %
by: Honest answer   

It would be impossible to not find friends in a group of 183 members, unless you aren't trying. That also applies to groups of 110 or any other sorority pledge class on the Ole Miss campus as big as they are. Plus considering the sorority are 400+ members there's even more opportunities to meet new friends. It sounds to me like the OP never intended to give the sorority a chance.

By: Honest answer
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