Mooyu. Let’s talk about it.
by: The DetectiveIt’s time to talk about the not so elusive, but all too mysterious mooyu. We start with this, where does mooyu go to school? Rumors say Purdue but we’ve also heard rumors of Miami as well. Number 2. Why is he always at IU? Does he have 0 friends at his school? He is here literally every weekend to the point that he is more well known here than anywhere else. Number 3. How does he know everyone? He has liked every guy in Greek life’s story at least once. Does the follow and unfollow thing acting like we are clueless so we follow him back. Comes up to us at parties saying our names(most of the time pronouncing it wrong) Is always hanging out with large groups(normally at least mid to good looking) girls that ask everyone around if “you know moo” It’s getting out of hand at this point and lowk weird. Number 4. Ball knowledge. One thing about mooyu is he wears a jersey at all times. And it’s never just a classic LeBron or mahomes jersey. It’s always a crazy jersey like JJ Watt Texans or Lamine Yamal or sum ****. The kid loves ball both in the sports world and d*ck. FINALLY, the main question, how tf does he get in everywhere. I’m convinced mooyu could sneak into the White House at this point it’s so impressive. Girl or guy bands for a frat party? No stress for moo. Doors are closed. HA amateur hour, he’s getting in no matter how hard you try to keep him out. As we got into the last parties of the year, it is my job as the detective to get to the bottom of all of these pressing issues and get to mooyu before he takes us all down.
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