"Who Let the Goats Out?” 🐐🔥

It all started at a typical Friday night darty at Sig chi. The jungle juice was suspiciously neon, the speakers were blasting Pitbull circa 2011, and someone had duct-taped a caution sign to a keg that said “Sip at your own risk.” Classic.

Around 9:47 p.m., chaos erupted.

A guy in a Purdue hoodie (who no one seemed to know) marched in carrying... a baby goat in a backpack. Not a plushie. A real, bleating goat. He shouted, “This is Tina! She’s rushing!” and handed her off to a very confused pledge.

The goat sprinted upstairs. People followed. In the panic, someone knocked over the DJ’s laptop, which started auto-playing Gregorian chant. Someone else started crying because they “saw God in the goat’s eyes.” Another girl swore she saw the goat open a locked composite cabinet and whispered, “That’s her house now.”

When the police eventually showed up, they didn’t even ask questions. One officer just said, “Third time this month,” and escorted Tina (the goat) out like royalty.

The pledge? He’s now the official "Goat Handler" of sig chi. Tina has a bid. She’s allegedly living somewhere in the basement. they use her to finish the rice purity test.