Missed connection: ZTA with the Bob

I went to a wing night rush event on Nassau where I was greeted by someone's girlfriend. I was endeared by her girlish laugh. Her boyfriend came up and started acting like a jerk to me. He starts preaching about the hot sauce collection he brought, making fun of the other PNMs for tearing up after trying one of his
"weaksauces". I tried to avoid the Topic. When he noticed I hadn't tried any, he asks the ZTA girl “who let in the baby?!”. Quick on my feet, I tell him they're all weaksauces. Actives crowded around me. They pounded the bar as he pulled five sauces out of his Patagonia, explaining how each got their name. Challenges me to some kind of wing off. I feel like vomiting and excuse myself to the washroom.
There was no window and l'd left my car keys on the bar. However, I find something else in my pocket.
I get back outside, we start off with Hell Volcano or Devil Anus or something equally Quaint. He starts visibly sweating after twenty seconds, and glances more than once at a glass of milk he had procured.