Remember last Saturday night when you decided to stay in and have a Pirates of the Caribbean movie marathon instead of going out? All was well until around midnight as you were watching Johnny Depp fight Davy Jones...and you thought to yourself ”I wonder how much fun everyone else is having?” And it’s over. You have officially relapsed into a state of FOMO, fear of missing out. Pictures start to dance around in your head of friends having “you had to be there moments” and the hottie that would have approached you at the bar. All of these crazy and over exaggerated fears never cease to bombard you when you’re on campus, but now I’d like to introduce to you SAFOMO
: Study Abroad Fear of Missing Out.
Instead of having FOMO when you’re still in your apartment while gatherings are happening down the street or in the downtown hub, many experience SAFOMO. The street distance between you and the campus shenanigans has been upgraded to either an entire country, continent, or ocean. You are very far away from all types of shenanigans which include, but are not limited to: night life, sorority/fraternity activities, campus clubs and sports, your close friends (because let’s face it, the not close friends are the least of our FOMO worries), and day to day campus life.
Sometimes, you might be grateful for the distance. For example, you can completely disregard the recruitment emails that start arriving in groups of five. You can also be thankful that you were not there when a certain party got busted or when your intermural team didn’t even make it past game two. In these cases, that ocean might be a blessing. But many can’t help but see a dark side, or at least a slight shadow, created by this distance.
It is very difficult not to feel a pang of jealousy when you are scarfing down paella in Spain while your friends are posting pictures of the epic events that happened the night or day before. You might even feel a little hurt, because that ocean is even more prevalent now and hearing about these events second hand is just not the same. Then the dreaded thought process of SAFOMO begins. “Do people even care that I’m gone?” “Will my friends still be the same when I get back?” “Are they mad at me for leaving?” “Will I be the same when I get back?” “What if I miss a once in a life time chance by being here and not there?” “What if Ellen DeGeneres comes to speak at my school?” “What if Beyoncé comes to my school!?!?”…okay, the odds of Beyoncé coming to anyone’s school is very unlikely, so take a deep breath please. The rest are rational worries, yes Ellen DeGeneres speaking at your school is a rational worry…its Ellen DeGeneres, enough said.
There are still ways to stay in touch with your friends back home. You can use Skype to chat it up and to stay updated on each other’s lives. Despite the fact that you are in a different country and culture, you and your friends can stay bonded over relatable things such as watching the same tv shows, gawking over so and so’s Tweets, or, to keep the college spirit alive, Snapchatting every new drink you try. Keeping in touch is easy-peasy, but don’t torture yourself by obsessing over everyone else’s Facebook pictures and posts at every chance you get.
Your friends and school might be having a blast back home, as they should, but you are also having an even bigger blast in a new country with new experiences that cannot compare to the toga party that happened last weekend. There will be many more shenanigans like that to come and more inside jokes to make once you get back. Your friends will still be at school waiting for you with their own hopes of a surprise Beyoncé visit, and you can both share your experiences of the past year. Better late than never. So keep your head up and enjoy every moment abroad without the cloud of SAFOMO hanging over you. It will go by so fast, so stop and smell those indigenous roses, wherever you are.
