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Poster Name:
alumna

Poster Message:
They are supposed to be chosen mutually because the bigs make a list of who they want and the littles make a list of who they want. At my sorority, the new member education team makes the picks. Not gonna lie, there is favoritism that can be involved with that. As an active, if you're close to the new member education ppl you can get your top pick much more easily. But there are also other factors that are taken into account. Like one of my sisters was matched with a new member who felt close to her, but to whom she didn't feel close to. This happened because the sorority knew that that new member was at risk of dropping and they wanted to mitigate that. So there are various ways that matching of bigs and littles might not go in your favor. And maybe you don't end up super close to your big or your little and that's okay. The big-little relationship isn't supposed to be this romanticized BFF type of relationship. It's a member of the sorority who is supposed to introduce you to sorority life and be a connection to you through your new member period (and hopefully beyond). Personally, I wasn't close to my big. I made an effort to be close to my little and we are still friends even though we are both alumnae now. But the most impactful and closest relationships I made with sisters were with girls who weren't in my sorority family. Those are my BFFs from the time I was at UA.