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Poster Name:
my story

Poster Message:
Agree with both earlier posters and here's my story. I was fixated on 2-3 top houses - knew several members. Wanted them to the exclusion of paying attention to many other houses. Those top houses cut me, then I got cut from many other houses - no surprise since no-one wants a member who's not really interested in them. And yes I was a snob - the house that most wanted me was lower tier and that upset me at first Thankfully they didn't give up on me and I learned that they are an incredible group of women. Questions I wish I'd asked myself after each party: 1) Was I able to really be myself and have genuine conversations? Or did things feel forced and "trying" hard? (we're all trying to make a good impression in parties but there's the "natural trying" vs. "forced trying"). 2) How did my body feel? Seriously if you feel tense and tired after a party versus relaxed and happy, that's a big clue. Looking back, I was tense after leaving the houses I thought I wanted - I was trying so hard to make them like me...whereas when I left a few other houses, I was so relaxed that I wasn't tired. 3) Here's the question I asked after pref: Can I really see myself being there? When I imagined myself in that house, did I feel good and have a smile? Now, not every PNM will be able to say "yes" to that last question and even if you can't, go ahead and take a bid, show up happy and give it your best shot. Many girls take bids and wind up loving a house they were unsure about. Biggest lesson - go where you feel most relaxed and most wanted. That's where you'll thrive because like others here I've seen girls pledge a certain house "because" (legacy, friends, etc.) and they never felt at home. (And that's not to say that top tier pledges aren't a fit for that house - many are!).