Ever wonder what it would be like if your beloved mother decided to spend the week in your humble abode that you fine young gentlemen call your Fraternity House? No? Well…me either, but I figured someone should write about it. Every time my mom comes down to visit or is packing me up for the summer, she always wonders why I rather her not come in the house. Here are some scenarios I’d envision occurring if my mom lived in our fraternity house for a week.
I’m not even going to predict how she’d react because it makes me cringe just imagining some of them.
A Stray Thong On The Floor
Unless you live in the nerd frat, the hookup culture will be front and center for dear old Mom.
When She Sees the Kitchen
I’d Have To Sleep On The Couch
The things I’ve seen happen on that couch are bad enough, what about the things that happened that I don’t know about….
Heaven Forbid She’s There During Pleding…
A lot of brothers would be getting a talk about why bullying is bad and how she’s very “disappointed with them”.
Her Telling Everyone It Was Bedtime
I will go to bed when I damn please.
Talking to girls at your house as to why they should date you.
No Mom I don’t want you to drop us off at the bowling alley and pick us up after FroYo.
Telling your brothers that time you peed yourself on the Haunted Mansion at Disney World
I WAS 8 YEARS OLD MOM…GAWD
Flirting with one of your chapter advisor who is twice as young as she is
Gross.
Taking away your big juicy cheeseburger you just got and replacing it with vegetables
You cower as brothers start throwing your skinny corn all over the house.
Coming downstairs in her night gown and middle-aged woman fro on a brisk weekend morning
How does dad even find that attractive?!
Sound like fun to you? I didn’t think so. Your Mom is the most special woman in your life, but to avoid this nightmarish situation, you may want to let her stay home while you do all the partying. You owe everything to your Mom for feeding you, clothing you, and letting you join your Fraternity in the first place. She can admire you and your fraternal brethren from outside. However, if she ever wants to become your House Mom, I would suggest she check out www.FraternityMom.com. Yes, this is a real website and yes you should check it out as well. Good Luck and tell your Mom I say hi.
