It’s time to reflect on the newest members that you decided should have the honor to be a part of your chapter. Maybe they seemed great at rush and maybe they still do, but there is always that slim chance you may have made a mistake or may be having second thoughts with regards to bidding some of them. Yet, for better or worse, these 9 men will shape your chapter for the next few years to come. In honor of baseball season starting next week and most pledging wrapping up, here is your All Star Pledge Class Lineup.
1) The Know It All
Yes, our lead off man is the one that we all love to hate. The one your pledge educator adores and every other pledge tries to copy off of during your written tests. From history to chapters across the nation, this guy thinks he is all that and more…until he forgets it all four years later.
2) The Ladies Man
Every pledge wants to be him and every other brother resents him. This young man has all the right moves every Thursday through Saturday. He knows just what to say and doesn’t come off creepy, which is harder than you would think. Our contact hitter in the #2 slot does just that.
3) The Crown Royal
Our three-hole hitter may not have the best batting average, but certainly can knock a few down if you catch my drift. You may be the one stuck carrying this young guy home, but he always shows up and is always the last one to leave. He knows how to have a good time and in fact, maybe too good of a time.
4) The One-Hit Wonder
If you know anything about our American pastime, the cleanup hitter is usually a hit or a miss. One day he could be great and the next day you want to drop him. This pledge is a great pledge. He understands his place and knows what to do, as well as how to do it. Then when he gets initiated, this greatness magically disappears. Likely he found a girlfriend who demands all his time and attention or he spends all his time in the library because he goes pre-med. Whatever the cause, he eventually pretty much stinks. Like that artist with only one great song, here’s to you…you one hit wonder.
5) The Frat Star Wanna-Be
This man loves his Vineyard Vines and his Sperrys. His Ray Bans and Backwards snapback are always on point, but there is one thing that makes this man a wanna-be…he is a pledge. He may obnoxiously love America and may own every color on the pastel chart, but his stardom must wait until his initiation.
6) The Benchwarmer
As the name implies, this man barely ever sees the field, but he is in our lineup here to prove a point that not every bad pledge makes a bad brother. A pledge may fail every quiz, miss tons of events and forget the name of his fellow pledge brothers, but these are all the more reasons for this guy to become the best damn brother your chapter has seen.
7) The Pillsbury Doughboy
This young man may be in over his head. He may not be ready for college, let alone pledging a Fraternity and should probably be at home making those amazing Pillsbury Doughboy biscuits with his Mom. Not every kid out there is ready for college-life and every pledge class will have one of them.
8) The Leash Kid
You may have been one of these kids at Disney World when you were 5 years old. Scratch that, you definitely were one of these kids. That means one of your pledges was certainly a leash kid and you should definitely reap the benefits from this fact. Whether it’s cleaning the house after a Saturday night or fanning you on the fratio, this one is at your service.
9) The Drop Out
Saved this infamous pledge for last in our All-Star lineup. No one knows why he is pledging your chapter, but every class has one. It was probably for the best and you all move on from it, but you can’t get by a semester without losing one of the children. C’est la vie.
Well, that’s all folks. May your chapters reign supreme through your new initiates efforts. I bid you good luck and farewell.
