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re: sorority rushing

by:    

As a parent with a daughter who wants to participate in Fall Rush, I find myself in disbelief to what I read and what I see. 1st - I sit and wonder how a Sorority can possibly judge 1700 girls based on a 5-10 minute superficial conversation?

2nd - Is my daughter being judged only by her looks and what she is wearing at the time? How does a Sorority truly know if she would be a good fit or not based upon 2 or 3 conversations?

3rd - I sit and read all the reviews and can't belief how Sororities are being reviewed and tiers determines more by the attractiveness of the latest Pledge class vs. community service - things that truly matter. Since when does rushing become a Miss USA contest?

4th - I sit and read the reviews as one Sorority bashes another. I thought this was College and not High School?

My daughter is beautiful on the inside and out and I truly do not want this for her. I will support her only because it is what she wants.

For the record, I am not the only parent extremely disillusioned by the entire UF Sorority Rushing process.

Posted By: Concerned parent
Page 1 of 9
#1by:    
#1    

I too am a parent of a daughter participating in Fall rush at UF. I am disgusted at the process also. With so many girls it must be who you know to be able to join some of them. I actually hope my daughter doesn't get into some of the "top" ranked ones because those definitely are about looks. The next 4 years will superficial and exhausting if that's where she ends up.

By: Same

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by: Concerned parent   

To Same:

I completely agree with you! FYI: "who" you know doesn't always mean anything either. I know of other girls rushing who had alumni recommendations and knew girls in the Sorority. They didn't get invited back to Round 2. The girls thought they did well with Round 1 and where so upset. No one can explain to their parents or myself as to "the why"? I want my daughter to focus on her getting her BS/Masters degree than be completely consumed with how she looks and what she is wearing. Things have certainly changed since I was in college.

By: Concerned parent
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by: Les   

Your observations are 100% correct.

By: Les
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by: Suzi   

I am a parent of a senior who is on the board for her sorority . I rode on an Elevator doing rush week with many sorority girls. I was amazed looking around how many bleached blondes I saw part of one particular sorority.. i was only to be told that many color their hair during rush. All I can say is be leaders not followers.

By: Suzi
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#2by:    
#2    

Helicopter parenting? Who do you think funds those beautiful sorority houses you sit in? Don't be disrespectful, unless that is the new trend of sorority manners. When I was in a sorority 30 years ago (and I know things have changed and do not expect it to be the same) rush was different. I cannot even begin to explain my feelings but what has been stated above is point on. I think the alumni of Panhellenic should address these problems. With an interest of 1,700 women, why aren't there more sorority chapters at UF? Why are we still, in 2014, working with "parties" as a way to recruit? For my daughter, who is a "normal" girl, this experience has been nothing but a way to break her down. She still has very good houses (and I think all houses are actually good and offer a great opportunity) but this process must be changed. This helicopter mom is not thrilled about funding sorority life at a tune of 8k a year for this superficial nonsense.

By: ridiculous
by: Les   

You are right on target. Who wants to spend eight grand to have her daughter adhere to dress codes and the "right" shoes and makeup to maintain a superficial image all the time?

By: Les
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#3by:    
#3    

My daughter believes she was cut from certain sororities at UF based on her weight. I'm not even sure that she would be considered overweight on doctors charts for her height, but was made to feel "big". It's sad that sororities are so appearance driven. She did have recs and was a legacy.

By: Disgusted
by: Les   

If these were "top houses" then she absolutely was cut because of her weight because they have to maintain their Barbie doll image. But, the past few years the smart girls have avoided this nonsense and pledged elsewhere.

By: Les
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by: CRINGE    

UF is an embarrassment!

By: CRINGE
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by: Ick   

Everyone recruits with looks in mind, but not all the chapters drop thick girls. Mid tiers care about personality.

Top tiers have pretty brick walls because they don’t care about that.

By: Ick
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#4by:    
#4    

Point made, what you will find on this site are a lot of young spoiled girls who do not have any respect for parents or parenting. That is because they have never been a parent. They are in their own sorority world after getting a bid and what they do not realize is that someday, if their daughter goes to college and they happen to look up sorority information like we have on websites, they will be doing the same thing. Right now, they just belittle us thinking that we have no business even being on this website. They are young women and have no life experience to understand how this process is damaging in general to girls and us as women in general. This is a real shame.

By: Point made
#5by:    
#5    

My daughter participated in rush last year. Again, I am an alumni of UF and was in a sorority as well. I called upon all my Panhellenic friends and managed to get recs to most houses. After the first round, she was cut from half of the houses and from my own chapter after the third round. Needless to say, I was very disappointed. She stuck with the process, pledged, and is extremely happy with her house. I was in your place last year and can tell you it was a brutal process to get her through. All I can say is be supportive and encourage your daughters to keep an open mind. They will find an organization they are happy with, Panhellenic or otherwise.

By: Proud Helicopter Mom
by: loving mom   

I couldn't agree with you more. I also had a daughter rush last year and it was a very stressful experience for me and her. She would call me upset and confused on why houses were dropping her. When she called crying and wondering what was wrong with her, thats when i told her to quit the rush process. She said she was going to finish what she started and got in a house that she loves and cherishes today. Its a hard and stressful process, but it all works out, I promise!!!!!

By: loving mom
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#6by:    
#6    

Appreciate all of the positive comments from above. Do not care if called a helicopter mom as my daughter is doing ok....only three houses left and hoping for best and prepared for the worst with a great attitude and no interference from me. I am thankful that others see that the system now is broken and flawed. I feel that I can share my opinion here as I was and technically am part of the UF Greek system as a UF sorority alumna. I believe that we cared more about the quality of the person that we pledged as compared to today when it is ALL about looks/weight. It is sad and I hope UF Panhellenic reps read these comments.

By: Another Mom
#7by:    
#7    

How else do you see to do it?
Many girls are cut from houses before recruitment begins...some members jobs are to "stalk" Facebook for the perfect potential members.

Appearance is judged before they even arrive at UF

Social media at its best.......

By: wondering
by: Another Mom   

If any part of this is true....it is an awful way to do Rush. So sick of all of it!!

By: Another Mom
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by: Les   

This is TRUE. Girls are stalked and weeded out. If you're not attractive enough, forget it. Thankfully many don't care fir those chapters and end up happy in houses that value them for all their qualities.

By: Les
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by: Real world   

Employers do this too- it is good practice for them to have clean social media pages.

By: Real world
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by: ?   

Cleaning up social media before recruitment is one thing. They were talking about using Instagram to find for the most beautiful pc…nothing to do with cleaning up your page!

By: ?
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#8by:    
#8    

Let me first start by saying how sorry I am for the daughters whose recruitment week has not been as successful as they hoped it would be. It is a highly stressful process for all participants on both sides. However, I can not emphasize enough how much more there is to it than just looks. Yes, physical appearance plays a part just like it does in many aspects of the real world, but it is by no means the end all be all to new member selections. I don't think anyone will disagree with me when I say that just because a girl is attractive doesn't mean she isn't also intelligent, amiable, or in possession of leadership qualities. Please bear in mind that this is UF (arguable the most competitive university in the state of Florida in regards to undergraduate admittance) and as a result everyone has high GPA's, extensive high school involvement, and philanthropic backgrounds. In many cases, sorority recruitment can be nearly as devastating for mothers as it can be for their daughters, but try and not underestimate the quality of girls participating in UF's Panhellenic recruitment. These girls got into one of the most prestigious public universities in the U.S. and it's competitive nature extends far beyond their initial acceptance letters.

By: Remember this is UF
#9by:    
#9    

remember this is UF…you are right. I don't blame most of the sisters, but this hurts. It just plain hurts.

By: lucy
#10by:    
#10    

I would guess almost all of the 1700 girls have qualities each house would like...BUT they have to narrow it down to 80-90 girls in the end....

how else are they suppose to do it...it sucks, but those are the facts, folks....

also, when you get a job you may only have a 10 minute interview to sell yourself as well against other qualified applicants...real world also bases on appearance if all other factors are equal....duh......

By: remember

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