Although there is a zero percent chance that you have forgotten, this Sunday is Valentine’s Day. That means you have a few more days to get your frat star a gift that he will actually like. If you haven’t already bought a gift, check out this list of what not to get him. It’s also not too late to return something if you have already purchased an item that made the list.
A Framed Photo
Now you’ve put him in the awkward situation. He can decide not to display it in his room which might make you cry. His other option is he can display it in his room and he might be the one crying when his brothers punch him for being a pansy. Save the tears and the money and send him a scandalous Snapchat and be done with it.
Dinner at a Tapas Restaurant Guys want food that come in real portions. Do not try to treat him to a meal where each dish is $15 and it takes him two bites to finish. Instead, just take him to B-Dubs and let him get 18 wings of 3 different flavors.
A Dress Shirt that Really “Brings Out His Eyes” Let his mother buy him his nice dress shirts. He’s just going to stain it the first time he wears it anyway. Instead, consider buying him a soft cotton tee (sports team or patriotic), an old school NBA jersey, or a lax pinnie.
You in Lingerie It’s expensive and he will enjoy it for about 20 seconds before he’d rather you just take it off. Instead, wear his favorite sports team’s jersey (especially if you traditionally root for a rival team).
Bathroom Supplies Okay, so maybe he only has one towel and what he uses to clean himself makes you gag. He doesn’t want to be told that he’s dirty…he really doesn’t care. A better way to get him a new towel is to buy yourself a new one and leave one of your old ones over his house. Pretend you left it on mistake. He’ll be using it within a week.
School Supplies This is so boring. You’re supposed to be fun. If you want him to be more studious, incentivize him in other ways.
Your Tears
Literally check all your sadness and anger at the door this Valentine’s Day. Hold it in until the 15th.
