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by: Candy

Just finished rush and it was not the best week. By the end of the week I was going to lots of parties but not the sororities I liked. Day by day I was cut from the ones I liked and yes the so-called top tier. But the system and computer forces you to maximize the invitations if you have open slots even if you don't care for those sororities. My Pi Chi kept encouraging me to keep going and trust in the system. I continued and went to 3 pref parties but I only felt comfortable in one. Again I was told not to suicide and maximize my chances. I did not get the one I liked and now I'm in a group I don't feel is right for me. Again I'm being told to give it a chance but why? This group is not for me and I think I will need to drop out. For those of you that want to tell me to try, did you get your choice? As nice as these girls may be, I don't think they are like me and I find myself in a bad situation. This was supposed to be a happy day but it's awful

Posted By: Candy
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#11  by: think about it   
#11    

Right now you are running on emotions and you are not thinking logically. Sometimes a girl "thinks" she fits in a certain sorority, but the sorority does not think she does, thus they do not invite her back. Trust us OP, if your favorite didn't invite you back, they did not think you belonged there. The majority of the time the sorority knows what they are doing. Granted, there are girls who slip through the cracks, but that doesn't happen often.

It is tough to feel that you have settled for the sorority that did want you. It's kind of like wanting to date the captain of the football team, when he only has eyes for the cheerleading captain. There is a cute guy that sits behind you in English class, and he has asked you out but he's not the football captain. You can sit in your room and feel sad for yourself and not date anyone because no one is as awesome as the football captain (Top Tier sorority), or you can get give the cute guy (sorority that liked you and gave you a bid)who sits behind you in class a chance and go out on a date with him.

You accepted the bid, so you are tied to that sorority until formal recruitment next year. You might as well give it a try and if by the time initiation rolls around, you still think you are too good for them, drop out. You will still be able to rush during fall formal recruitment 2014, if you want to try again.

By: think about it
#12  by: Think twice   
#12    

It is almost impossible to drop a bid and then expect to recruit into another sorority the next year. By your statements you seem to feel you are better than what sorority you got into (you didn't understand why so many pretty girls got passed up...) . There are wonderful girls in every sorority, it's ashame you don't feel that. If you make the decision to drop make sure you understand that it's a likelihood that you not be in another sorority. And if another sorority decided to give you a try, know that it won't be the groups you originally wanted anyway.

By: Think twice
#13  by: Huh   
#13    

Quit the sorority now - you can't pledge anywhere else for a year. That's a rule. So why not give it a try, at least for two or three weeks? It's hard to really know when you talk with a limited number of girls during a pressure-filled few hours.
At least if you stick with it for a little while, you can make a better decision.

By: Huh
#14  by: know yourself   
#14    

I rushed and was cut after philanthropy day. I am glad that I got cut because the houses that I was left with did not fit me at all. Now I am in sigma alpha which is a professional agriculture sorority and I really click with the girls. There is always open bidding and spring rush if you really want to try for another panhellenic sorority again. Don't settle and go with what you feel.

By: know yourself
by: RiiiightAug 21, 2013 1:11:26 AM

Oh please, you would have been grateful for whatever bid you could get if you hadn't been dropped. Whatever makes you feel better, I guess. Enjoy your pretend sorority, loser.

By: Riiiight
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by: NoAug 21, 2013 2:35:48 PM

If a PNM accepts a bid during fall formal recruitment, she CANNOT drop out of her sorority and COB or participate in spring recruitment. She is bound to her sorority for a year. The soonest she could rush again would be next fall during formal recruitment.

SO, New Members thinking of dropping out of the sorority invited you to be a member, understand that you can do so up until initiation, and as long as you do not go through the initiation ceremony, you will be able to rush next fall during formal recruitment. If you drop out now, you WILL NOT be able to rush again until fall formal recruitment, so why not wait, give it a few weeks, and see if your feelings change.

By: No
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by: ButAug 21, 2013 6:46:27 PM

one also needs to know it is much harder to pledge as a sophomore

By: But
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#15  by: Momma    
#15    

Although my daughter is gioing to give the sorority that gave her a bid a try.. she is feeling the same way as Candy. This has been the worst week of her life. She is not from Alabama... and even though she was told sororities will judge each person individually, based on their merits/accomplishments, and personalities; she did not feel that she was even considered by most of the sororities; Even though she had numerous recommendations, has a 3.8 grade point average, and was extremely involved in her school and community. (Oh... and she is a blond) My daughter has always been a very outgoing and confident person. She never thought twice about going to Auburn, as she found the sense of family, traditions, and school spirit an excellent match for her. However, she is know feeling alone, rejected, unwanted and is second guessing her decision not only to rush; but more importantly choosing Auburn in general. I was a member of a sorority at a different college and participated in my share of rush events. I have explained that it appears that most of these sororities already know who they are giving bids to before rush starts. Even if she made positive connections during the rush parties, she didn't have anyone pushing for her from the inside to get a bid. I hope that she sticks with the sorority that did give her a bid...but I am not sure if the overwhelment and rejection she felt all week hasn't clouded her ability to feel accepted and wanted by the group.

By: Momma
by: ? Aug 20, 2013 7:22:24 PM

not sure what "oh and she's a blond" has anything to do with it...however, I'll comment. There were 200 girls who did not get bids- they either dropped out (for which I have no sympathy) or were completely released. Your daughter GOT A BID and should be proud of this and happy she made it through. Auburn truly has one of the best, kindest Panhellenic communities in the SEC...or anywhere! To be a part of it is special.

She is most likely coming off recruitment week, tired, confused and a bit crazed. She needs to relax and give it time it has only been 2 days! If she is saying things like she is questioning Auburn (based on recruitment), you may very well start looking for signs of homesickness.

I do want to explain something to you, it is very rare that young ladies have perfect recruitments! Yes, even the southern girls struggle, it is a HARD week. Many legacies get released from their legacy houses, many girls get over-tired and confused and start to question themselves. There could have been many reasons that made your daughters week harder- did she go in with and open mind, did she do the work of securing 2+ recs for each house? Whatever it was, she like so many others struggled- but she got the prize in the end. It ALL works out...if a NM gives it a shot.

By: ?
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by: myAug 20, 2013 7:45:58 PM

advice is to "get off this site mom!" For your daughter's sake! You've gotten advice and heard options. It's time for you and her to stop taking it to this forum and do what ever you feel is right. You're doing her no favors. Auburn seems big to the outsider, but actually it's very small. People know each other and talk. Believe me.. I'm really really sorry you have this decision to make, but do it in private with your daughter.

By: my
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#16  by: Momma   
#16    

I'm so sorry this happened to you daughter.
Mom, if she really is the way you describe, you CAN tell her to drop. But.....she really needs to make a HUGE effort to get to know the girls in the sororities she felt comfortable with. Hopefully, if she really has been accidentally passed over, next year they will know her, love her, and do everything they can to get her in.
...but honestly, she needs to give it some time to get to know the girls in the sorority she is in first. There is no time like freshman year! Maybe there are a few other amazing girls that also got over-looked by the ones they wanted and she will find more girls like her than she realizes. She should at least go on the weekend retreat and give it that much time. Best wishes.

By: Momma
#17  by: Wow   
#17    

Some of the replies are not very helpful and downright insulting. How lucky for those girls that go the sororities they wanted and felt the sense of elation on bid day. But let's be understanding of those that went through a difficult and emotional week and find themselves in a sorority that was not one they particularly loved this week. The better replies are telling you that there are many girls in this situation. That because of this there are many girls that decided to give their new sorority a chance and ended up staying in and liking it. There are pretty, smart, and personable girls in all sororities and yes even the top tier ones make mistakes during rush. I sympathize that girls get hurt and it can be a rough way to start the year. It's not right for people to jump on the poster or the mother; no one is saying that they are better or prettier or too good for the sorority. It's an emotional connection you make during rush and these girls are trying to figure it out. Give it time, see if you find that you do have things i common with other pledges and sisters, and perhaps you will see that this is after all a good fit.

By: Wow
#18  by: Truth   
#18    

There are two important things for you to know. First: During recruitment, sororities meet way more girls that would fit in perfectly than they have room to give bids to. Therefore, they cut perfectly wonderful girls. Every sorority at AU cuts girls. Girls that are amazing and wonderful. But that is their choice. You may think they made the wrong choice when they cut you. But they decided that they wanted someone else MORE than you. They didn't make the wrong choice at all and if you quit and go through recruitment next year, they'll make the same choice again.

Second: You got a bid and you have two choices of what to do with it. You can sit and mope and moan about it not being a bid to the right sorority. You can refuse to participate fully and wait around for the girls to make you feel better. You can let them know that you feel like you're better than they are. And eventually drop out.

Or you can go over there every day and meet new girls. You can volunteer for everything. You can ask girls to meet you for coffee and get to know them as individuals. You can throw yourself into it with an open heart and expect wonderful things. And you will stay, be initiated, and find your lifelong best friends. If you're not "clicking" with the girls in your sorority, it's because you're not trying. Every sorority has lots of great girls. Not every girl will be your best friend, but there will be lots who will.

It's up to you. I think you have a poor attitude. But you can change it.

By: Truth
#19  by: true   
#19    

True. Change your attitude and go out and find the girls in the house that are like you. I agree. There are a million in every house but you have to look for them~

By: true
#20  by: Who?   
#20    

Who are any of you to say that you are BETTER than any sorority at Auburn? That's what I really want to know. It is downright insulting to see what the OP has written as well as a couple of other girls on here. The majority of you are stupid freshman girls who think too highly of themselves. As a member of what might be considered a "lower-tier" sorority, i am disgusted with what you all have said amd I can gurantee you that if thats how you feel, WE DO NOT WANT YOU HERE. i would much rather have 100 girls that might not be comsidered "top" that loved and wanted to be in my sorority than a group full of gorgeous girls (supposedly like the OP) that think they are bettee than my sisters and me. NEWSFLASH: SORORITIES ARE NOT ABOUT FINDING THE GIRLS YOU FIND THE COOLEST OR MOST POPULAR OR MOST ATTRACTIVE. Sororities are about finding your friends that you will have the rest of your life that you have a bond with like no other. My advice for you is to drop out now because you do not deserve the sorority that took a chance on you and actually liked you and saw something of you.

By: Who?

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