One of the most exciting parts of starting college is getting your own dorm or apartment for the first time. For most of us, that includes having roommates. Sharing a space with a roommate can prove challenging. Getting to know a new person and adjust to living with them can be difficult. Sometimes, two people are just not meant to get along. So what should you do if you aren’t getting along with the person you are sentenced to live with for the rest of the year? Here are some tips.
Talk it out and communicate in person.
Communication is the key to any relationship, including roommates. When problems arise, it is best to confront them head-on right when they begin. Remember, conflict is a part of any type of relationship and is perfectly healthy. Just don’t send a text in an attempt to resolve issues. A lot can be misunderstood if your roommate cannot hear your tone of voice. Talking face to face is a much better solution.
Be careful of what you say to others.
You have to live with your roommate and it’s important to keep things civil. If you are bad-mouthing your roommate to your friends or others, it could make matters worse if they find out what you’ve been saying. Further, don’t let people living outside of your dorm/room/apartment influence how you handle your roommate. You’re the one that has to go home to them every day and it essentially an issue between you and them. Discuss solutions with them, not your friends.
Don’t be passive-aggressive.
Nothing annoys people more than passive-aggressiveness. If you have an issue with something your roommate is doing, (politely) confront them directly. Don’t send text messages or leave notes as hints to what is bothering you.
Create a roommate agreement.
This may seem a bit Sheldon Cooper-esque, but having a roommate agreement may lessen future conflicts. Create a short, non-restrictive set of rules to follow. These may include a chore schedule, rent payments, food sharing, noise and overnight guests. Make sure it is something both of you can agree to and will resolve any issues you may have. Just remember to let them have an equal say on what goes into the agreement, don’t try to control them by creating your own rules.
Schedule a playdate
In college, everyone gets stressed out with classes, work and other activities, which could add fuel to any roommate disagreements. Set time aside to go out and have fun with your roommate. This will allow you to escape any stressful on campus triggers and allow you to bond on a more personal level. This could help alleviate future arguments, or make them easier to handle.
If worse comes to worse, and nothing else seems to work, determine what your other options may be. If you live on campus, you could try to switch dorms or find another roommate. Try talking to your RA about this option. If you live off campus and have signed a lease, it will be more difficult to switch roommates. You could try to find someone to sublease the apartment from you, or you could speak with your landlord about your options.
